Proportionality

As children, we're taught to listen to our consciences when making decisions.  We ask ourselves what the right thing to do is.  When we grow up, we realize that life's a little more complicated than that.  Everything becomes a question of proportionality.  Is the good accomplished by my actions adequate for the amount of effort that I spend?  Do the benefits my kids receive from being in a two-income household overshadow the fact that a nanny puts them on a bus in the morning?  Or, is the fatigue that I feel from getting up at 4:30 a.m. every day outweighed by the fact that going to work early enables me to be home in time to meet the school bus?

I've been running the test of proportionality a lot lately.  I have to listen to the girls prattle about whose mothers came to school at lunchtime.  I missed ballet yesterday to meet with the accountant.  There were dirty dishes on the counter when I got up this morning.  At school we are nearing the end of the 3rd quarter.  Student attendance has been abysmal.   I'm wondering if we'll ever be able to sort out the difference between nouns and verbs. I have been counting down the days until Spring Break.

Then, today, everything magically moved into balance.  I have been tutoring a student two mornings a week during my planning period.  I was slightly annoyed that she was 10 minutes late for our appointment this morning.  When she arrived, she apologized and offered this explanation..  She reminded me that she's been looking for a job for weeks.  She said that as she was entering the building, her phone rang with a job offer.  Somebody wanted her to clean houses during the day.  Although she desperately needs work, she turned down the job.  I asked why.  "Because," she said, "You are helping me and giving me an opportunity that I may never have again in my life.  I don't want to lose this opportunity.  I'll keep looking for another job."   Well.  There was no really appropriate response to that.

Later, I was approached by a student who consistently seems to demand a disproportionate amount of my time.  He handed me a crumpled piece of paper covered with barely legible writing.  He then explained that during his ongoing job search he had met someone who had information about a job cleaning metro stations.  The person had offered to help him call for more information.  But, not wanting to be late for class, my student had explained that he would take the information to school and ask his "best teacher" for help.  Wow.  No really appropriate response for that either except, "Sure.  I'll be happy to make the call."

Talk about balance.  The scales were really starting to tip and I was beginning to wonder if I'm putting in enough effort. 

The balance continued at home too.  While I supervised snacks and homework, Les folded the laundry.  Cassie set the table and Lacey cleared it.  During dinner, Lacey discovered that a napkin placed in her lap really does serve to catch dropped food.  By 8 p.m., both girls had showered and laid out their clothes for tomorrow.  All this goodness outweighed the fact that the mole the cat brought into the house is still running around loose.  If we don't catch it, I may be sleeping with Cassie in her top bunk tonight.  And, that might prompt an entirely different question about balance!