Genetics

When I was a junior Army officer, a senior officer was complimenting me on a completed task.  "Elizabeth," he said, "I'm confident that you could BS your way through anything!"  At the time, I thought that was the highest compliment that I could have received, and I was thrilled.  I still pride myself in my ability to BS and never know when that skill might come in handy.  For instance, a couple days ago at school I was able to reprimand a student without her even realizing it.  "Wow!" I told her, "That's an awesome shirt you're wearing.  In fact, it looks as though it was specially designed to show off your tattoo.  But, sadly, the school dress code requires young ladies to cover their backs, shoulders, and chests."

Cassie plays the violin in the elementary school orchestra.  A few days ago, the music teacher asked the children to write a reflective paragraph about the recent school concert.  Well, you can imagine how pleased I was to discover that this ability to "BS" is genetic.  As I read  Cassie's submission, I realized that she has actually taken this ability to a new level.  She's so descriptive that the reader/teacher is inclined to overlook the spelling!  Read on:

"My View of the Concert"

"The experence of the concert was inlighining.  Fanlly playing some easy music to relax and be calm without really working.  The music in the background was pretty but it slightly drowned out the sound of the students.  The adence was nice because some concerts I have been to are rather rude.  Most of the notes were in tune.  But, still, some showed themselves as the chiller font in my mind.  The violins were held beatifully up by  the students so that they gleamed.  When the students went up to talk, they spoke loudly and clearly.  The concert all together was quiet nice."

Now, aren't you sorry you missed that concert?

Christmas is Coming

While driving home from work today, I received a call from a friend who was picking her daughter up from school.  She informed me that the elementary school was under a lockdown.  Apparently there was a helicopter hovering over the school and cop cars swarming the community.  "I can't see any children coming out," my friend explained.  "I don't know how much longer they'll be locked inside."

"Wow!"  I answered as I stepped on the gas.  "As long as they're safe inside, I'll have some extra time to get stuff done at home!"

Not sure how to respond to that, my friend replied that she'd talk to me later and hung up.

I walked into the house hollering to Les to quick get out the wrapping paper because we had a few minutes to ourselves.  Clearly we are in the throes of pre-Christmas preparation.  In the past two weeks, we've been to two violin concerts, two "Parents'Days" at the ballet studio, the Christmas pageant at church, and dozens of rehearsals.  We're shopping and baking and cleaning and decorating.  The dolls have to have their own Christmas pageant and even the cats must receive gifts.  Of course, we're having a wonderful time.  One of my most enjoyable moments so far was listening to Lacey try to phonetically pronounce "Xmas."   We actually let her go at it for about 5 minutes because we couldn't stop laughing.  Another winning moment was when Lacey told me that she had asked Santa for a "hex bug."  She leaned toward me and whispered, "Don't worry.  You can find them almost everywhere!"

I guess I almost reached my limit this afternoon.  The girls had finally made it home.  Lacey was reading her homework aloud while Les cranked up the stereo so that he could hear the Christmas music over the TV.  Cassie was busy making recyled crayons for her friends, which required her to use the oven and about three-quarters of the kitchen.  I had just finished digging through the freezer, pleased to have found two salmon burgers, a few taquitos, and some curly fries.  "Leftovers!" I proclamed to anyone who could hear me.  "Blue Christmas," my all-time, least favorite Christmas song, was rocking our house.  Les grabbed me and we began dancing around the kitchen.  This is another one of those scenes that you know I couldn't make up.  The only thing missing was a dog, because this would have been the perfect time for a dog to leap through the air and grab our dinner from the table.   But, really, I think this is how it's supposed to be.  And, somehow, we'll get everything done. 

Visiting with Santa

That's My Kid!

Today was "Parent's Day" at the ballet studio and our first chance to see Lacey in action. Unfortunately, Les had to stay at home. You might remember that I mentioned the washer overflowing. Last night, the washer decided to break down. It locked automatically and trapped all my whites inside. So, while Les waited for the plumber, the ladies headed for the dance studio.

I don't know if I had more fun watching Lacey or watching Cassie watch Lacey. I shot a couple videos for Les to watch. This video really says it all.  Make sure you turn up the volume so you can hear what the instructor is saying to me.

Communication

Frequently at school I find myself answering students' questions about slang.  They hear words at work, on TV and on the street that they don't understand.  Our conversations are sometimes quite explicit.  But, my students are all aged 18 and older; and, I believe that for their own self preservation there are things that they need to understand.  We discuss words and phrases that are okay to use with friends and co-workers, but not with a boss or teacher.  We talk about words that have multiple definitions.  Today we covered words that are okay to use when describing an attractive guy or girl, but that should never be used to describe Grandma.  I think it's fine to have these discussions within the shelter of my classroom.  But, I didn't expect to be having such a discussion with my children. 

I arrived home, anticipating a semi-quiet evening.  It was "Buddy Nite" at the Taekwondo Studio, and Les had promised to take both girls.  Semi-quiet was right.  The girls were sprawled in front of the TV eating buttered popcorn.  They ran to greet me and here's what transpired:

Cassie:  Mom!!!  I got a postcard from the principal saying congratulations for my good grades.  And, you'll never guess what!!!  Lacey said "dammit" on the bus!!!!

Me to Les:  Have you already discussed this?

Les:  No.  Haven't had time.

Me to Myself:  (Of course you haven't.)

Me to Lacey:  Did you say dammit?

Lacey:  Yes

Me:  Why did you say dammit?

Lacey:  I say dammit because I have homework and Sydney doesn't!

Cassie:  She knows it's a bad word.  She told Sydney not to tell me!

Me:  (Struggling to keep a straight face.)  So, why do you say dammit, Lacey?

Lacey:  Because other people do.  I hear other people say it.

Me:  (Scowling at Les)  I told you not to let her watch so much TV.

Me to Myself:  I don't think they say "dammit" on the Disney Channel.

Me to Lacey:  If other people do bad things does that make it okay for you to be bad?

Lacey:  (Licking butter from her fingers)  No.

Me:  Then, is it okay for you to say "dammit."

Lacey:  I don't know.

Me:  Well, dammit, "dammit" isn't a nice word.  Remember how we keep talking about using your middle finger?

Lacey:  Uh huh.

Me:  Well, saying "dammit" is sort of like using your middle finger.  It's not nice.

Lacey:  (Continuing to lick her fingers while looking longingly at the TV in the next room.)  Uh huh.

Me:  Are you going to say "dammit" anymore?

Lacey:  I don't know.

Me:  Uhhh. . . . If the teacher hears you say "dammit," she'll send you to the principal's office.

Lacey:  Will I get a postcard from the principal like Cassie did?

Me:  No!! 

Cassie:  Mommy.  Remember when Lacey said "H E double hockey sticks?"

Me to Myself:  If I didn't, you'd make sure I would.

Me to Lacey:  Finish your snack.  Remember, you have homework. 

Me to Les:  What time did you say Taekwondo started?