Evolving

People frequently ask me if the girls fight.  I'm never sure how to respond.  Do people want to hear that the girls always get along perfectly?  If I admit that, yes, they fight, will I appear to be a failure as a parent?  Or, will the person asking understand that the girls have become siblings and that they should argue once in awhile?  I'm still kind of new at having "kids" so I don't really know what's normal.  I do know that it was hard for both Lacey and us to have her plunked down in our midst at age 6.  It's hard enough for families to adjust to a newborn.  But, a 6-year old that walks, talks and has opinions can be challenging.  

Over the past few months, I've really been able to appreciate how the relationship between the girls has evolved and how we've all adapted to having another person in the family.  Initially, Cassie wanted Lacey to depend on her for everything.  She had envisioned a little sister who would be rather needy and would want to cling to her hand.  Lacey had no expectations of an older sister because she was used to taking care of her sister.  She accepted the many efforts that Cassie made but she didn't really appreciate them.  Now, I think she is learning how to exploit Cassie's desire to nurture.  I also find myself laughing on a daily basis as I realize how far Lacey has come in terms of personal behavior and manners.

The other day the girls were snacking on Irish soda bread and Lacey said, "Cassie, wipe the crumbs off your knife before you put it in the butter!"

Several times a day we hear Lacey say, "Cassie, be patient!"  Now, that is really a switch.

We marvel at how quickly Lacey is learning English.  Cassie continues to be the best teacher Lacey will ever have.  The other day they were playing a storytelling card game.  Players take turns telling a  story based on pictures on the cards.  I thought it might be a little difficult for Lacey to play.  Then, I overheard Cassie saying, "And havoc was wreaking!"  

A couple days ago Lacey asked if I wanted some of her candy. I answered, "poquito."  She said, "Okay, I'll give you just a little bit."  Cassie then asked, "Did you use context clues to figure that out or did I already teach  you?"

Lacey's choice of fashion has been especially challenging for Cassie.  Cassie is the queen of accessories.  Most of her clothing comes from the thrift store because she doesn't want to look like anyone else.  Lacey, on the other hand, would wear the same thing every day.  She is quite happy in blue jeans and T shirts.  Her favorite is the black shirt from Taekwondo summer camp that has doubled as a paint shirt.  I do worry that people will look at the girls standing side by side and think that Lacey's getting the short end.

A few weeks ago, I went to wake Lacey for school.  She climbed out of bed wearing pajama pants that were dragging on the floor.  As she walked over to her dresser, I realized that the drawers were so full they wouldn't close.  In fact, the drawers were overflowing.  "Cassie cleaned out her drawers,"  Lacey proclaimed. "Do you like my new pajamas."

 That evening, Cassie's phone was ringing.  She jumped up saying, "Oh.  That's my alarm.  I set it to remind me to help Lacey lay out her clothes for tomorrow."  And off the girls went.  The first efforts were a little rough.  I think Cassie tried to hard to impose her style on Lacey.  I overheard Lacey telling Cassie that a classmate told her she looked weird.  Cassie responded, "If anyone ever insults you again, just tell them that your big sister knows much more about fashion than they do!" 

Les and I really enjoy watching Lacey adapt to mainstream American culture.  While there are still huge gaps in her background knowledge, it's amazing what she has absorbed.

While on our way to the supermarket she glanced out the window and said, "Someone likes the Redskins.  I can see by their car."

Last week I asked Lacey what she had learned about in Sunday School.  "Jesus went to Nashville!" she answered.

Lacey walked into the room while a TV ad in support of same-sex marriage was on.  She watched for a few seconds and then walked away saying, "Oh.  I thought it was an ad for eharmony."