Interpersonal Skills

The other day on the way to work I was trying to catch the traffic report.  I was just in time to hear a story about college graduates lacking the interpersonal skills necessary to succeed in the workplace.  According to a recent study, the average young person has 241 social media friends but might not know how to communicate in person.  Many of our nation's universities now feel compelled to charge students tuition to teach them how to be people.  Clearly I can't let this go by without comment. 

I love technology and the many advantages it brings.  I love my the instant access to the Internet that my iPhone and my iPad offer.  I love being able to text with my family and friends.  I've been heard saying that I might die without Blue Tooth in my car.  Lately, I've been favoring the gas station that has mini TV screens built into the gas pumps.   I also make a real effort to use technology with my students.  We blog, use Blackboard, read ebooks and make online cartoons.  I recently enrolled in a course on creating educational podcasts.  I can't really imagine what my life would be like without technology. 

My children love their gadgets too. Cassie has a cell phone because she's alone in the morning.  I like to receive texts from her to make sure she gets up on time.  We enjoy watching Cassie leverage the many features her phone offers.  For example, one evening at bedtime I asked her to put her knitting away.  She fretted momentarily because she had balls of yarn stretched across the floor in a particular color sequence.  Then, she jumped up and snapped a picture with her phone so that she could recreate the color scheme.  Wow.  I probably wouldn't have thought of that.  Cassie also knows how to make flashcards on the Internet so that she can study Spanish vocabulary on her phone.  While she was preparing for her Black Belt test, she used her phone to take videos of her instructor executing the required forms so that she could study every day.  Cassie got a Kindle for Christmas and rapidly learned how to download free books from the public library.  This will make my life easier as I can never keep pace with her reading.

We have also introduced Lacey to technology.  Every day for homework she is required to read electronic books on the Internet.  She practices her spelling words on the iPad.  For Christmas, she got a handheld, electronic game console.  I have observed a lot of benefits stemming from this toy.  First, Lacey has learned how to keep track of all the components.  This is helping her learn how to be responsible.  Then, she realized that she has to plan ahead to charge the console if she is going to play with it.  Another unexpected benefit was the opportunity for her to learn cause and effect from playing the electronic games.  Her favorite game is a cooking game.  She will holler something like, "Mommy, which knife should I select to cut this pie?  Oh, never mind, I picked one.  Oh, I picked the wrong one.  I have to start over again!"  After making fast selections, without stopping to think, she started slowing down.  This is wonderful.  We have spent the past two years trying to get her to slow down and think before she acts. 

Yet Les and I continually struggle to determine how much we should let the girls rely on technology.  We know some parents who have traded in all their kids toys for tablets.  Well, that would certainly take care of the exploding mess in the basement.  But, is that what we really want for our kids?  Are we old school, fossilized, fuddy duddies?   Maybe I don't want to ask that question. . .  We still don't allow unsupervised Internet access.  We still turn off the TV and make the kids go outside.  We still talk to each other during dinner.  Should we pick the quantity of contact that is available via the Internet or opt for quality, face to face communication?  As difficult as it may be at times, I'm going to continue to struggle for balance.  I will always opt for real, face to face contact.  If I can't have that, I will settle for virtual contact.  If I can have my way, my kids are going to grow up being able to communicate and empathize with others.   College is going to be expensive enough.  I don't plan to pay for my kids to learn how to talk to each other!