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Monday, January 28, 2013
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Diary of a Wimpy Parent, Part 2
Thursday evening was Cassie's first middle school concert. This really wasn't such a big deal for us. Cassie has had the good fortune of being exposed to the violin for
several years now. (A synonym for "good fortune" would be "parents who
are willing to commit time and money.") She takes private violin
lessons and plays in the county's youth orchestra. However, we had laid plans a week in advance in order to make it to the middle school by 6:15 p.m. Last Saturday, when we made the menu for the week, we scheduled leftovers for Thursday. Then, we sacrificed "parent's night at the ballet studio" to attend the concert. And, it was just a little bit of a big deal because the orchestra director had asked Cassie to sit as the first chair for the concert. Yeah, I'll admit, a little parental pride was seeping out. After all, there are probably over 60 kids in the orchestra. So, Thursday evening at 5:55 p.m., we were out the door and flaps up, headed for the school.
When describing my husband, "patient" is not one of the first adjectives that comes to mind. Imagine how much fun we all had waiting in a line of cars to enter the parking lot and then joining the massing throng outside the locked school doors! Did I mention that this was concert night for both the band and the orchestra? But, oh, it just got better! When the doors opened, we bid Cassie goodbye and good luck and joined the herd that was jostling its way down the hallway. We arrived in the gymnasium and momentary paralysis struck. There were two distinct groups of chairs arrayed for the students with corresponding sets of bleachers - one set up on the left side of the gym and the other on the right. Oh no!! Was the orchestra on the right or left. One parent loped across the gym and out the back door, in search of a knowing teacher. He promptly returned and bellowed, "Band left!! Orchestra right!!"
It would have been great to have an aerial view of what happened next. We all became like fish going after food newly sprinkled in an aquarium. When the water settled, we found ourselves in the second row of the audience, across from the center of the orchestra chairs. Not bad. But wait - just as we were taking off our coats the people in front of us got up and moved. Poor suckers. In their rush to claim front row seats, they had not realized they were on the wrong side of the gym. Now, they were going from the front row to standing room only. Across the gym a newly arrived family had also seen the front row seats. Should we politely walk to the end of the row and then around to the front row? But, if we didn't get those seats, we'd be left standing. The only solution was to vault over the chairs in front of us. That is what we did, just as the other family arrived. Each family ended up with three chairs. Phew!
I checked the time. It was 6:10. The concert was supposed to go from 6:30 to 8:30. I turned to help Lacey with her book. Around 6:40, the performers began to enter the gym. They eventually all found chairs and began waving to their families. This was fun for awhile. Lacey chatted with Cassie and took a number of photos. Around 6:55, Les reminded me that the concert was supposed to have started at 6:30. The orchestra director, along with a helper from the elementary school, began tuning the students' instruments. Meanwhile, similar activities were taking place on the band side of the gym. Around 7:10, the director instructed the first two rows of students to stand up. Were they finally going to begin? Why did the kids all look so angry? The standing students then walked to the back of the gym. What was going on? Around 7:20 about a dozen students filed in carrying their instruments. They were instructed to sit in the now vacant front seats. We continued to wait.
At 7:30, we were finally welcomed by a disembodied male voice. Let the music begin! The director then took the microphone and explained that the first performers were those children who had just started in orchestra this school year. She moved to the front of the group and, without a microphone, began asking the kids a series of questions about their instruments. As the kids pointed to the parts of their violins, the band audience had no idea what was going on and continued to talk.
Frustrated , the director turned and faced the band audience with one hand on her hip and said quietly, "I'll wait." The band parents couldn't hear her and continued to talk. Les stood up and said, "Lady, if you're frustrated, how do you think we feel?" Actually, he whispered something that wasn't nearly as polite to me. Eventually, the band parents glanced over and understood from the director's body language to zip it up. The kids made their way through a few short pieces and amid great applause headed for the back of the gym. Cassie and company returned and got ready to play. But, wait, it was the band's turn. Only, guess what? There were only enough music stands for one group of performers. So, the 50 or so band members stood up, walked over to the orchestra, and picked up all the music stands. The entire delegation of orchestra parents groaned. And, we did it in unison, without a director!
Of course, the band director spoke without a microphone too. We really tried to be polite. But, we could only see the backs of some of the band players. That made it hard to know what they were doing. I guess I was getting tired because when I realized that they were actually playing a number and not just warming up I started laughing uncontrollably. Catching Cassie's eye didn't help in the least.
Just as I was regaining control of myself, the orchestra director returned and reminded the audience that they were a little short on music stands. She then told the students to go over to the band and retrieve their music stands. The entire delegation of orchestra parents again groaned in unison because they were calculating what it would cost to replace their children's smashed instruments. Finally, the orchestra played. And, for a group of sixth graders with limited experience, they did a beautiful job.
Now, it was time for the jazz band. Only guess what? They needed music stands. So, all the jazz band members made their way over to the orchestra to retrieve the music stands. The band director had managed to find a wireless microphone and we understood that the jazz band members practiced entirely on their own time. These kids were pretty good! Perhaps knowing that escape was near, the entire orchestra side of the gym relaxed. Parents and students alike swayed to the music. Several dozen students flipped their violins over in their laps and began drumming on the backs of their instruments. The concert ended with roaring applause.
Participation in some form of music is mandatory for middle school students. During the 2.5 hours we spent in the school gym, Les and I had plenty of time to discuss the merits of Cassie's participation in the school orchestra. As we watched eager parents videotaping the entire production, we agreed that this is the only exposure to music some children will ever have. And, it's really very wonderful that the county has the funds to offer music to all these students. Then, Cassie has a lot of friends in orchestra. This is extremely important for an 11 year old girl. Finally, the chairs at the middle school are much more comfortable than the under-sized chairs at the elementary school!
When describing my husband, "patient" is not one of the first adjectives that comes to mind. Imagine how much fun we all had waiting in a line of cars to enter the parking lot and then joining the massing throng outside the locked school doors! Did I mention that this was concert night for both the band and the orchestra? But, oh, it just got better! When the doors opened, we bid Cassie goodbye and good luck and joined the herd that was jostling its way down the hallway. We arrived in the gymnasium and momentary paralysis struck. There were two distinct groups of chairs arrayed for the students with corresponding sets of bleachers - one set up on the left side of the gym and the other on the right. Oh no!! Was the orchestra on the right or left. One parent loped across the gym and out the back door, in search of a knowing teacher. He promptly returned and bellowed, "Band left!! Orchestra right!!"
It would have been great to have an aerial view of what happened next. We all became like fish going after food newly sprinkled in an aquarium. When the water settled, we found ourselves in the second row of the audience, across from the center of the orchestra chairs. Not bad. But wait - just as we were taking off our coats the people in front of us got up and moved. Poor suckers. In their rush to claim front row seats, they had not realized they were on the wrong side of the gym. Now, they were going from the front row to standing room only. Across the gym a newly arrived family had also seen the front row seats. Should we politely walk to the end of the row and then around to the front row? But, if we didn't get those seats, we'd be left standing. The only solution was to vault over the chairs in front of us. That is what we did, just as the other family arrived. Each family ended up with three chairs. Phew!
I checked the time. It was 6:10. The concert was supposed to go from 6:30 to 8:30. I turned to help Lacey with her book. Around 6:40, the performers began to enter the gym. They eventually all found chairs and began waving to their families. This was fun for awhile. Lacey chatted with Cassie and took a number of photos. Around 6:55, Les reminded me that the concert was supposed to have started at 6:30. The orchestra director, along with a helper from the elementary school, began tuning the students' instruments. Meanwhile, similar activities were taking place on the band side of the gym. Around 7:10, the director instructed the first two rows of students to stand up. Were they finally going to begin? Why did the kids all look so angry? The standing students then walked to the back of the gym. What was going on? Around 7:20 about a dozen students filed in carrying their instruments. They were instructed to sit in the now vacant front seats. We continued to wait.
At 7:30, we were finally welcomed by a disembodied male voice. Let the music begin! The director then took the microphone and explained that the first performers were those children who had just started in orchestra this school year. She moved to the front of the group and, without a microphone, began asking the kids a series of questions about their instruments. As the kids pointed to the parts of their violins, the band audience had no idea what was going on and continued to talk.
Frustrated , the director turned and faced the band audience with one hand on her hip and said quietly, "I'll wait." The band parents couldn't hear her and continued to talk. Les stood up and said, "Lady, if you're frustrated, how do you think we feel?" Actually, he whispered something that wasn't nearly as polite to me. Eventually, the band parents glanced over and understood from the director's body language to zip it up. The kids made their way through a few short pieces and amid great applause headed for the back of the gym. Cassie and company returned and got ready to play. But, wait, it was the band's turn. Only, guess what? There were only enough music stands for one group of performers. So, the 50 or so band members stood up, walked over to the orchestra, and picked up all the music stands. The entire delegation of orchestra parents groaned. And, we did it in unison, without a director!
Of course, the band director spoke without a microphone too. We really tried to be polite. But, we could only see the backs of some of the band players. That made it hard to know what they were doing. I guess I was getting tired because when I realized that they were actually playing a number and not just warming up I started laughing uncontrollably. Catching Cassie's eye didn't help in the least.
Just as I was regaining control of myself, the orchestra director returned and reminded the audience that they were a little short on music stands. She then told the students to go over to the band and retrieve their music stands. The entire delegation of orchestra parents again groaned in unison because they were calculating what it would cost to replace their children's smashed instruments. Finally, the orchestra played. And, for a group of sixth graders with limited experience, they did a beautiful job.
Now, it was time for the jazz band. Only guess what? They needed music stands. So, all the jazz band members made their way over to the orchestra to retrieve the music stands. The band director had managed to find a wireless microphone and we understood that the jazz band members practiced entirely on their own time. These kids were pretty good! Perhaps knowing that escape was near, the entire orchestra side of the gym relaxed. Parents and students alike swayed to the music. Several dozen students flipped their violins over in their laps and began drumming on the backs of their instruments. The concert ended with roaring applause.
Participation in some form of music is mandatory for middle school students. During the 2.5 hours we spent in the school gym, Les and I had plenty of time to discuss the merits of Cassie's participation in the school orchestra. As we watched eager parents videotaping the entire production, we agreed that this is the only exposure to music some children will ever have. And, it's really very wonderful that the county has the funds to offer music to all these students. Then, Cassie has a lot of friends in orchestra. This is extremely important for an 11 year old girl. Finally, the chairs at the middle school are much more comfortable than the under-sized chairs at the elementary school!
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Interpersonal Skills
The other day on the way to work I was trying to catch the traffic report. I was just in time to hear a story about college graduates lacking the interpersonal skills necessary to succeed in the workplace. According to a recent study, the average young person has 241 social media friends but might not know how to communicate in person. Many of our nation's universities now feel compelled to charge students tuition to teach them how to be people. Clearly I can't let this go by without comment.
I love technology and the many advantages it brings. I love my the instant access to the Internet that my iPhone and my iPad offer. I love being able to text with my family and friends. I've been heard saying that I might die without Blue Tooth in my car. Lately, I've been favoring the gas station that has mini TV screens built into the gas pumps. I also make a real effort to use technology with my students. We blog, use Blackboard, read ebooks and make online cartoons. I recently enrolled in a course on creating educational podcasts. I can't really imagine what my life would be like without technology.
My children love their gadgets too. Cassie has a cell phone because she's alone in the morning. I like to receive texts from her to make sure she gets up on time. We enjoy watching Cassie leverage the many features her phone offers. For example, one evening at bedtime I asked her to put her knitting away. She fretted momentarily because she had balls of yarn stretched across the floor in a particular color sequence. Then, she jumped up and snapped a picture with her phone so that she could recreate the color scheme. Wow. I probably wouldn't have thought of that. Cassie also knows how to make flashcards on the Internet so that she can study Spanish vocabulary on her phone. While she was preparing for her Black Belt test, she used her phone to take videos of her instructor executing the required forms so that she could study every day. Cassie got a Kindle for Christmas and rapidly learned how to download free books from the public library. This will make my life easier as I can never keep pace with her reading.
We have also introduced Lacey to technology. Every day for homework she is required to read electronic books on the Internet. She practices her spelling words on the iPad. For Christmas, she got a handheld, electronic game console. I have observed a lot of benefits stemming from this toy. First, Lacey has learned how to keep track of all the components. This is helping her learn how to be responsible. Then, she realized that she has to plan ahead to charge the console if she is going to play with it. Another unexpected benefit was the opportunity for her to learn cause and effect from playing the electronic games. Her favorite game is a cooking game. She will holler something like, "Mommy, which knife should I select to cut this pie? Oh, never mind, I picked one. Oh, I picked the wrong one. I have to start over again!" After making fast selections, without stopping to think, she started slowing down. This is wonderful. We have spent the past two years trying to get her to slow down and think before she acts.
Yet Les and I continually struggle to determine how much we should let the girls rely on technology. We know some parents who have traded in all their kids toys for tablets. Well, that would certainly take care of the exploding mess in the basement. But, is that what we really want for our kids? Are we old school, fossilized, fuddy duddies? Maybe I don't want to ask that question. . . We still don't allow unsupervised Internet access. We still turn off the TV and make the kids go outside. We still talk to each other during dinner. Should we pick the quantity of contact that is available via the Internet or opt for quality, face to face communication? As difficult as it may be at times, I'm going to continue to struggle for balance. I will always opt for real, face to face contact. If I can't have that, I will settle for virtual contact. If I can have my way, my kids are going to grow up being able to communicate and empathize with others. College is going to be expensive enough. I don't plan to pay for my kids to learn how to talk to each other!
I love technology and the many advantages it brings. I love my the instant access to the Internet that my iPhone and my iPad offer. I love being able to text with my family and friends. I've been heard saying that I might die without Blue Tooth in my car. Lately, I've been favoring the gas station that has mini TV screens built into the gas pumps. I also make a real effort to use technology with my students. We blog, use Blackboard, read ebooks and make online cartoons. I recently enrolled in a course on creating educational podcasts. I can't really imagine what my life would be like without technology.
My children love their gadgets too. Cassie has a cell phone because she's alone in the morning. I like to receive texts from her to make sure she gets up on time. We enjoy watching Cassie leverage the many features her phone offers. For example, one evening at bedtime I asked her to put her knitting away. She fretted momentarily because she had balls of yarn stretched across the floor in a particular color sequence. Then, she jumped up and snapped a picture with her phone so that she could recreate the color scheme. Wow. I probably wouldn't have thought of that. Cassie also knows how to make flashcards on the Internet so that she can study Spanish vocabulary on her phone. While she was preparing for her Black Belt test, she used her phone to take videos of her instructor executing the required forms so that she could study every day. Cassie got a Kindle for Christmas and rapidly learned how to download free books from the public library. This will make my life easier as I can never keep pace with her reading.
We have also introduced Lacey to technology. Every day for homework she is required to read electronic books on the Internet. She practices her spelling words on the iPad. For Christmas, she got a handheld, electronic game console. I have observed a lot of benefits stemming from this toy. First, Lacey has learned how to keep track of all the components. This is helping her learn how to be responsible. Then, she realized that she has to plan ahead to charge the console if she is going to play with it. Another unexpected benefit was the opportunity for her to learn cause and effect from playing the electronic games. Her favorite game is a cooking game. She will holler something like, "Mommy, which knife should I select to cut this pie? Oh, never mind, I picked one. Oh, I picked the wrong one. I have to start over again!" After making fast selections, without stopping to think, she started slowing down. This is wonderful. We have spent the past two years trying to get her to slow down and think before she acts.
Yet Les and I continually struggle to determine how much we should let the girls rely on technology. We know some parents who have traded in all their kids toys for tablets. Well, that would certainly take care of the exploding mess in the basement. But, is that what we really want for our kids? Are we old school, fossilized, fuddy duddies? Maybe I don't want to ask that question. . . We still don't allow unsupervised Internet access. We still turn off the TV and make the kids go outside. We still talk to each other during dinner. Should we pick the quantity of contact that is available via the Internet or opt for quality, face to face communication? As difficult as it may be at times, I'm going to continue to struggle for balance. I will always opt for real, face to face contact. If I can't have that, I will settle for virtual contact. If I can have my way, my kids are going to grow up being able to communicate and empathize with others. College is going to be expensive enough. I don't plan to pay for my kids to learn how to talk to each other!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Resolutions
In years past, I've made detailed lists of New Year's Resolutions, determined to correct every perceived flaw in my life. I was going to practice wonderfully healthy eating habits; go to the gym every day; stick to my budget; keep the house clean; not go to bed until every dirty dish was washed and put away; read Bible stories to the kids every morning; fold the laundry as soon as I took it out of the dryer so that it didn't get wrinkled; clean the Spam out of my inbox; plant my garden on time. . . You get the picture. Clearly I haven't been able to keep any of those resolutions or I wouldn't be making the same ones each year. This year, I decided that instead of abandoning my resolutions I would enlist some help.
"This is going to be THE YEAR!" I announced to Les.
He pulled his headphones off and said, "Huh?"
"Listen!" I continued. "This is going to be the year that the house stays clean, homework gets done on time, kids go to bed on time and all that. We've got to set some resolutions for the kids. No more coming home from school, throwing down the backpacks and collapsing in front of the TV. They are going to have a fixed routine and chores. If everyone pitches in to help, maybe I will have time to join that gym!!"
I explained to Les that I was coming up with a spreadsheet that would show what chores had to be done each day of the week. We would have a family meeting to review the chores and assign responsibilities.
Today, Jan. 2, 2013, I set off for work. I was feeling relaxed because it was a teacher workday. I would have time to catch up with my colleagues, clear my desk and get ready for my students. The kids were excited about spending one last day at home. They had planned a menu for the day and made a list of everything they wanted to do. Around 7:25 a.m., I received a call from my wonderful friend and neighbor, Mickey.
"Hey," she said, "I just wanted to let you know that Cassie's running a little late this morning."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"She's supposed to be here by now," Mickey continued. "You know.... to catch her ride to school."
"THEY HAVE SCHOOL TODAY??!!" I sputtered.
"Uhh, what planet have you been living on?" asked Mickey. (Okay, she didn't really say that. As I just mentioned, she's my wonderful friend and neighbor. But, seriously, she must have been thinking something close to that.) Actually, Mickey offered to make lunches for the kids and drive them to school while I tried to find my way back to reality.
As I drove home, I mentally rehearsed the apology speech I would give the kids. "I am so very sorry. I really screwed up this time. I know, I know. I told you not to say 'screwed up.' But, this is one time when that expression really fits. I feel so bad about this. I will remember this mistake for the rest of my life and feel bad every time I think about it."
When I got home, the girls came out to meet me. They explained that Lacey had finished her homework and Cassie had practiced her violin. Then, they helped me pack their lunches for tomorrow. While I was cooking dinner Lacey commented that it was about time for me to start teaching her and Cassie how to cook. After dinner, Cassie helped Lacey pick out clothes for tommorow and then went off to take a shower. I never had a chance to issue my apology. My error seemed to be forgiven and forgotten. I decided that it's time for a new round of resolutions. I have resolved to just love and appreciate my friends and family. Everything else will somehow fall into place.
"This is going to be THE YEAR!" I announced to Les.
He pulled his headphones off and said, "Huh?"
"Listen!" I continued. "This is going to be the year that the house stays clean, homework gets done on time, kids go to bed on time and all that. We've got to set some resolutions for the kids. No more coming home from school, throwing down the backpacks and collapsing in front of the TV. They are going to have a fixed routine and chores. If everyone pitches in to help, maybe I will have time to join that gym!!"
I explained to Les that I was coming up with a spreadsheet that would show what chores had to be done each day of the week. We would have a family meeting to review the chores and assign responsibilities.
Today, Jan. 2, 2013, I set off for work. I was feeling relaxed because it was a teacher workday. I would have time to catch up with my colleagues, clear my desk and get ready for my students. The kids were excited about spending one last day at home. They had planned a menu for the day and made a list of everything they wanted to do. Around 7:25 a.m., I received a call from my wonderful friend and neighbor, Mickey.
"Hey," she said, "I just wanted to let you know that Cassie's running a little late this morning."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"She's supposed to be here by now," Mickey continued. "You know.... to catch her ride to school."
"THEY HAVE SCHOOL TODAY??!!" I sputtered.
"Uhh, what planet have you been living on?" asked Mickey. (Okay, she didn't really say that. As I just mentioned, she's my wonderful friend and neighbor. But, seriously, she must have been thinking something close to that.) Actually, Mickey offered to make lunches for the kids and drive them to school while I tried to find my way back to reality.
As I drove home, I mentally rehearsed the apology speech I would give the kids. "I am so very sorry. I really screwed up this time. I know, I know. I told you not to say 'screwed up.' But, this is one time when that expression really fits. I feel so bad about this. I will remember this mistake for the rest of my life and feel bad every time I think about it."
When I got home, the girls came out to meet me. They explained that Lacey had finished her homework and Cassie had practiced her violin. Then, they helped me pack their lunches for tomorrow. While I was cooking dinner Lacey commented that it was about time for me to start teaching her and Cassie how to cook. After dinner, Cassie helped Lacey pick out clothes for tommorow and then went off to take a shower. I never had a chance to issue my apology. My error seemed to be forgiven and forgotten. I decided that it's time for a new round of resolutions. I have resolved to just love and appreciate my friends and family. Everything else will somehow fall into place.
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