I mulled that over on the way to work the next day. I have a great life. I enjoy spending time with my kids. The only thing consistently lacking from my life is more time. Should I spend a weekend away? Should I feel guilty for wanting some time off? When was the last time I did anything without kids? I actually look forward to dental appointments because I have time to myself while sitting in the chair. (You know those few moments the dentist leaves you alone while waiting for the novacaine to kick in?) I came to the realization that I really don't have any time alone. When I get home from work, Les and the girls are already home. The entire evening is homework, violin practice, laundry, dinner, dishes, more homework, a couple of lessons . . . I'm lucky to be able to use the bathroom alone. Work is no different. Although I love my students, I don't really enjoy sharing public bathrooms with them. When was the last time I routinely did something for myself? Before Cassie was born, I used to love playing tennis. I haven't played since I was pregnant. After she was born, a friend and I thought about playing. But, when I thought I about setting Cassie's stroller on the tennis court, I had these awful visions of smacking my baby with a tennis ball. That was 10 years ago! Okay. I had convinced myself. I was a little overdue. Time to myself was justified.
Part 2 of the mental struggle was worrying about what I would owe Les for giving me time off. Hmmm, I could offer to cook, clean the house, wash dishes, make lunches, help with homework and drive the kids to lessons while letting him relax in front of the TV! Uhhh. . . how would that be any different than things are usually at home? Not to criticize my husband's efforts. But, that's just sort of how things have evolved in our home. So, there really would be no guilt involved in taking time off.
Part 3 was dealing with Cassie, who was convinced that she wouldn't survive without me for two days. "I'll miss you!" she kept lamenting. Lacey was fine because she knew the secret. "Daddy will probably let us watch TV all weekend!"
I suggested that Les help the girls make a plan for the 45 hours that I would be away. When I checked in, Les announced that they were going to make beef jerky while I was gone. Interesting. . . just what part of the beef jerky making process would the girls do? Would they chop meat with a cleaver, mix seasoning or stand watching the meat dry? "Well, that sounds like fun," I volunteered. "I'm not sure what to say about it," Lacey responded.
The day of the trip came. Cassie began calling me before the bus had even left the city. Yikes. But, soon Les was cooking macaroni and cheese and they were selecting a movie for the evening and all was well. I checked in periodically during the weekend and sent them photos of American Girl Place, the M&M store and the art museum. And, sure, I missed them. I missed the way Lacey says, "I DUNNO," to 99 percent of the questions I ask. I missed the way Cassie can spend five minutes describing how a raindrop looks as it slides down the car window. But, before I knew it, I was getting off the bus and the smell of garlic met me before the kids did. At least they had been well fed!
When I got home, the girls showed me how they had cleaned their bedrooms and playroom, and organized the bookshelves. They proudly told me that they hadn't argued once the entire weekend. I realized that without me there to listen, there was no point in arguing. Wow! A weekend without me had actually been good for them. And, they had two different batches of beef jerky for me to taste.
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| Look what can be done with yarn! |
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| A yarn-bombing project. We are starting a knitting club at school. Can't wait to tell the students about yarn bombing. |
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| Wow. Look what else can be done with yarn! |
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| Me at the Metropolitan Museum of Art with my favorite painting, "View of Toledo." Yes, I'm wearing the same clothes because we managed to do the yarn event, Times Square, and the museum in the same day! |
tennis
beef jerky
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