Back to Blogging

I haven't abandoned my blog.  But, the past few weeks have been fairly ordinary, not producing a lot of fuel for blogging.  Well, I guess my life has taken a twist back to not so normal and produced another bloggable day.


Yesterday began fairly normal, except for a few twinges of pain that I was able to ignore until I was on the highway.  Then, it became the kind of pain that made me curse and pound on the steering wheel.  I actually became desperate enough to call Les for help.  I use the term "desperate" not to imply that my husband wouldn't help, but because he was locked in an office about 40 miles away.  In retrospect, calling him was a dumb idea.  However, I did need to let him know that if I wasn't home in time to meet the school bus, I was probably at the ER passing a kidney stone.  Of course, I got stuck in traffic on I-395.  Crazy thoughts started pouring through my head such as, "Does it really matter that Cassie sleeps on top of the sheets instead of between them?"  And, "Good thing I'd shaved my legs - in case I need to seek medical care."


I finally got to work and my wonderful colleagues offered to take care of my students.  I decided to wait until traffic subsided before heading South.  I began phoning my doctor's office, which opens at 8:00.  I got a recording that said they were running late and politely asked that I call again in 15 minutes.  I did call again in 15 minute increments for the next two hours.  I guess pain does strange things to a person.  During those two hours I managed to drive home; check on the basement which was in fact flooding; and collect a pile of  catalogs to read in the waiting room.  I finally reached the doctor's answering service and learned that the office was closed.  I explained my situation to the friendly sounding guy who answered.  He offered to take a message.  Hmmm.  Let me think.  I'm in a lot of pain.  Not sure a message would be helpful.  I'm thinking of going to the ER.  The friendly sounding guy told me that he wasn't trained to offer advice or opinions.  I thanked him and drove to the ER. 


The ER was strangely empty.  This is the first of many points at which I will state that I'm not joking.  There wasn't a single person in the waiting room.  The kind nurse pulled up my record, asked if I thought I had another kidney stone and ushered me in.  "Go see Alvin,"  she said.  "He'll take care of you."  Alvin is a medical tech who, in addition to having a great personality, does a little bit of everything.  He checked me in, drew blood, got the IV going, etc, while he entertained me with stories of recent patients with kidney stones.  I commented that the place didn't look too busy today.  Alvin gasped, "Oh, you're not supposed to say the "B" word!" 

I was placed in a room where the nurse tried to figure out how to use the new "touch screen" equipment.  My patient care representative arrived and wrote the names of all staff members who would be assisting me on a big white board.  She gave me a chart with smiling and frowning faces on it to help me communicate my degrees of pain.  I'm not kidding.  The nurse left my door open so that I wouldn't feel too lonely.  She returned with a helper and they still couldn't figure out how to work the new equipment.  They both left and returned with Alvin, who demonstrated how to correctly touch the screen.  I was grateful for my pile of catalogs and began daydreaming my way through Pottery Barn, envisioning what a basement that wasn't flooding might look like.  Eventually, I got to go have a CT scan.  While we were waiting for the results, a voice over the sound system chastised all the ER nurses for neglecting to label the specimens they were bringing to the lab.  Upon hearing this, the charge nurse began yelling at everyone.  "Oh,great," I thought.  "So much for all my blood work."  Just then, my worries were confirmed as a member of the "Hospital Transport Team" arrived to take me for a chest xray.  I tried to protest, explaining that she had the wrong hemisphere.  The nurse came in and they checked the name on the xray order.  Big surprise.  It wasn't mine.  I wouldn't be responsible for the xray copay!

I got up to use the restroom, which was down the hallway.  As I stepped into the hallway, Alvin came by, almost knocking me over.  He was pushing a bed with a woman on it, yelling, "Need a room!!  Got a baby crowning!!"  He yelled over his shoulder at me, "I told you not to say the B word!"

The lady ended up next door to me.  The walls are thin.  About 30 seconds after her bed landed, I heard the baby crying and the nurses cheering.  It was a boy!  More cheering.  Alvin came into my room looking for a blanked to wrap around the baby.  Someone eventually found a rolling baby bed.  Alvin came back to lean against the wall in my room and rest for awhile.  He told me that I should be proud of this woman.  She too had driven herself to the hospital and Alvin had pulled her from the car.  About this time, the nurses were informed that a baby born outside the delivery room is considered "dirty" and couldn't be allowed in the nursery.  One nurse suggested that maybe it would be better for the baby if there weren't so many people breathing on him.  I'm not joking here.  Apparently, all the nurses backed off, because a couple minutes later the charge nurse started yelling, "You people didn't really leave this baby alone, did you??!"  She wasn't joking either.

In a short while, the doctor arrived to tell me that I was about to pass a 5 mm kidney stone.  As she questioned my celebratory cheering, I explained that I had done this myself, without needing surgery.  The doctor wrote my prescription for pain pills. I got dressed and was ready to leave when I realized I still had a needle stuck in my arm.  I was seriously considering going home. It would have taken very little effort to pull the needle out myself.  But, the nurse caught me and offered to help.  I stopped to say goodbye to Alvin on my way out and congratulated him on the successful delivery.  He congratulated me on my successful delivery as well.

I got in my car and headed for the pharmacy.  The "low fuel" warning light came on the dashboard.  I'm not kidding here.  However, I managed to make it home in time to meet the bus.

After yesterday, I expected to have a quiet weekend.  I took the laundry to the basement while the girls were still sleeping.  I opened the front loading washer and discovered about 10 inches of standing water inside.  It took about 2 seconds for the water to cover me and the laundry room floor.  Now, how on earth could that happen?  There wasn't water in it when I opened the door last time.  Hey, maybe things are just getting back to normal around here.