Recently, I was reading a book about adoptive families. One woman, who had been contemplating international adoption, shared her worries about not being able to see a reflection of herself in an adopted child. The concern made me recall a medical professional who told me that during her 20 plus years of helping couples with fertility issues, she had concluded that people's motives for wanting children are primarily selfish. It's true people have a desire to pass on their bloodline, and see their many wonderful genetic traits reflected in their children. These thoughts and others were part of the myriad of things that Les and I considered in the years preceding Lacey. So, what exactly do we want to see reflected in Lacey? Very simply, I want to instill the same things that my parents taught me - a love of God, family and country, and a desire to give back to the community. This is a good time to reflect on how we are doing as parents.
In January, I published Lacey's first prayer. Here's a reprint, in case you missed it before.
"Dear God, Thank you for Jesus are born. Her grow and grow. Her 12 years old. Her go to a place and talk to old woman and talk and talk. Her mom and dad go home. Then they come and look for Jesus. Them mad. Then Jesus go home riding the uncle. Amen. "
I guess the prayer is a pretty good reflection of how the loving God lessons are going.
The loving family part has been easy. From the beginning, Lacey has opened her heart to us, accepted us as family and been eager to love us. She's actually taught us quite a bit about love.
Lacey doesn't understand the word "community." She really doesn't understand what cities, states and countries are all about either. But, she certainly understands about giving. During Lent, the girls brought home little boxes from church to collect coins for homeless children. Lacey immediately retrieved her bank and dumped its contents into her little box. True, she doesn't really understand the value of money. And, because she doesn't understand, we haven't given her much. But, she was willing to give everything that she had.
Teaching Lacey a love of country is more complex. We want her to reflect both her country of birth and her adopted country. This photo reflects Lacey's feelings toward the U.S.
We also want Lacey to remember China with pride and to continue to learn about her Chinese roots. Here are wishes from Lacey's caregivers at the Shanghai Children's Welfare Institute.
"Dear Hai Dan, You are from Shanghai, China. Shanghai is one of the biggest cities in China. This city has long history, rich and deep culture. It develops faster these years. And when Hai Dan grows up, it will hopefully develop towards one of the commercial cities in the world. You used to live in a great Home where you were taken good care of. We all love you very much and we hope you can live happily with your Daddy and Mommy (brothers and sisters). We also hope you can come back one day to visit the Home and us!"
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