Reflections

One year ago, we were still classified as a "China waiting family."  Then, on March 25, 2010, we received our tentative referral.  I remember waiting anxiously for Cassie to arrive home from school.  We showed her the picture of "Haidan" and told her that we had a week to make up our minds.  Cassie said, "Take her!"  And, we did.  

On Saturday, our social worker will visit for our eight month follow-up visit.  It's hard to believe that so much time has passed.  I was reflecting on how far we've all come over the past eight months. I thought maybe, in preparation for the social worker's visit,  I should jot down a list of some of the things that Lacey has accomplished since we met.  Where would I begin?  Eight months ago, we met a child who lived only for the present.  She had no real sense of her personal history and no anticipation of the future.  She didn't know where she was born.  She had no understanding of the calendar.  She had little understanding of self control and was accustomed to screaming and crying to get what she wanted.

I decided to ask Lacey what she thinks she has learned since joining the family.  I was stunned by her ability to reflect and by her understanding of the profound changes that have taken place in her life. Her responses were so beautiful and sincere that I must share them here verbatim: You will be able to tell that she included both lessons from home and school!

"Reading, writing and listening.

Be careful.

Don't break things. 

Swim, play ball, do scooter and swing.

Don't eat like a pig.

Words.

Brush hair and brush teeth."

Pause. . . "I've got lots of things in my brain, Mommy."

"Wash the table and clean up the stuff.

Don't spill the paint.

Stay in your own place to play and don't make a mess.

Don't get the wall paint dirty.

Play Doh.

Puzzles and crayons.

Play my dolls.

Play in the playhouse.

Pick up acorns.

I make snowflakes and snowmen.

Countries!  English, China, Gladis' country - I don't know the name, and some more countries.

Sometimes the moon out, sometimes the moon in.

Sometimes the sun follow us.

The clouds bump together, they make cold winter.

I like doing marshmallows and eat outside in summer.

Shopping.

Taekwondo.

See Santa Claus.

Wash  your hands - soap!

Feed the cats.

Not being rude.

Nicely going to the party.

I taste new drinks and new foods.

Flying in an airplane.

Cassie and me play ball together.  Cassie and me on the red swing and maybe somebody push us down, up, down.

Cassie and me play Barbies.

Read at bedtime with big sister.

How to listen to Cassie's violin.

Do with Mommy the laundry and take care the clothes.  Put the dishes in there (pointing to the dishwasher).  Get the mail for Daddy and Mommy.

Cassie and Mommy and Daddy and me, we are together family."

Four Generations of Chinese Women