Two Eyes Open

About 10 days ago, Les took Lacey to see a retinoligst.  The opththamologist had suggested that we have the retina in her left eye scanned for a definitive diagnosis.  The doctor said that Lacey has "microphtalmia," which is simply the existence of a small, under-developed eye.  The doctor also confirmed that Lacey was born this way.  He gave Lacey a brochure showing photos of children who had been fitted with prosthetic eyes.  The purpose of a prosthetic eye in a child is twofold .  The primary concern is to ensure that the eye socket grows and maintains the symmetry of the child's face.  The secondary concern is cosmetic. 

Lacey studied the brochure very carefully.  When Cassie arrived home, Lacey ran to her and, struggling to find words to express herself, said, "Cassie!  Doctor said, ah, ah, ah. . . two eyes open!"  I certainly couldn't have found better words to express what Lacey had understood and what she was feeling.  But, I realized that since Lacey has joined our family, she has already begun to see with "two eyes open."

When we first met Lacey, she focused only on the present.  She worried about what she would eat next and what she would wear the next day.  As we traveled around China, we encouraged her to enjoy the sites.  But, she really didn't want to look at anything.  Everywhere she went she clung to her new toys and repeated the Chinese phrases for, "Give me," and "This is mine."  For the past three months, Lacey has continued to repeat these phrases.  Not surprisingly, these were the first two phrases that Cassie learned to say in Mandarin!

I've always prided myself on being a creative mom.  When Cassie was little, we sometimes fingerpainted at breakfast, and had a tea party for lunch.  We never knew what dinner would bring.  Cassie would sometimes appear as the president's daughter, a princess, a newspaper journalist, or maybe a pioneer.  One time, she even role played an emperor's daughter.  We quickly realized that Lacey was unaccustomed to freedom and wasn't going to thrive in this type of environment.  We had to adjust our style and establish a very defined routine for her.  This was difficult for all of us, but helped Lacey begin to open her eyes and explore her new world.

Looking around our house now,  you can easily observe how Lacey has changed.  In the kitchen, a plastic grocery bag, filled with acorn tops, hangs from her chair.  On Cassie's placemat rests a drawing from Lacey that has Cassie's name printed in shaky letters.  On the counter sits a vase of water that is home to a handful of dead leaves Lacey collected in the backyard.  The bottom half of the refrigerator holds a collage that she made by gluing leaves together.  The family room floor is littered with drawing paper, crayons, colored pencils, and an overturned bucket of cookie cutters that Lacey was tracing.  The stairs are adorned with doll clothes, books and craft supplies, all waiting to be put away.  The bulletin board in Lacey's bedroom holds family photos, brochures from the cat show, tags cut from new clothing, and other little mementos.    

If you eavesdropped on our home, you'd be amazed at the volume of English that Lacey can produce.  She uses beautifully complete sentence such as, "Cassie, you can use my crayons." and, "Can I help you?"  Yesterday, she told me which classmate had to go to the quiet table in the cafeteria.  Today, her class visited a farm and she provided a vey detailed description of what she saw.  Recenlty, Lacey overheard a conversation between her parents and piped in, "Me no kiss anybody's butt!"

Lacey is also gaining a sense of time, and starting to anticipate future events.  Shortly before school started, I realized that she had little understanding of the calendar.  She couldn't name the days in Mandarin and didn't know that there were seven days in a week.  I began showing her a calendar and after a few days got her to understand that it represented the passing days.  She was able to understand that we had met her and brought her home in July.  I could really tell that she understood when she began rapidly paging through the calendar and asking me over and over again to show her Mommy's, Daddy's and Cassie's "Happy Birthdays."  This awareness of time might be her most enlightening experience so far.  Every day now we look at the calendar.  We talk about what she will do at school tomorrow and how many days before the weekend is here.  I now understand that she lived only in the present, without thinking about her personal history or future.  And although Lacey is much more eager to talk about the future, she has begun sharing small details of her life in China with us.

 I too have to look with both eyes open to appreciate how far Lacey has come.  And, while there are many adjustments for us all to make, they're not all bad.  I have started getting up just a couple minutes earlier in the morning.  This is because now when I tiptoe on my ritual trip down the hallway, I have to stop and listen for the quiet breathing of not only one, but two sleeping girls.