Each Day is Better

July 27, 2010




Well, we’ve been home about 10 days and each day just gets better. We want to say thank you the Douberly family for the beautiful welcome home posters, balloons and streamers that were waiting for us. We also want to thank them for buying us groceries. I had envisioned going to the grocery store at 5 a.m. the day after we got home. But, I was able to relax and enjoy my first real cup of coffee in weeks.


Here are photos of the beautiful
posters:

Thanks also to Sydney for the beautiful birthday cake that she made for Lacey. The cake had both chocolate and white icing, and even a number 6 candle. Cassie helped Sydney with the red trim. Gladis came to dinner and we had a little birthday celebration. This was very exciting for Lacey.

Gladis and Lacey with the birthday cake

Lacey has experienced many “firsts.” We’ve tried to keep things low key, so that she doesn’t feel overwhelmed. But, at the same time, I can’t sit in the house with both girls all day. Last week, we visited the farmer’s market. We also went to an outdoor bluegrass concert. A couple days ago, we visited the thrift store. Cassie loves to shop here to find unique pieces. Lacey caught on very quickly. Apparently, size has never factored into her wardrobe selection before. It took quite a bit of convincing to get her into the proper sized shirts. I found a couple lovely pieces for myself – things that I never would have paid retail price for. We walked away with 10 garments for $45.

Lacey picked her outfit by herself for the first time -

 a red flowered shirt with orange plaid pants.

Tasting watermelon at the farmer's market

I’ve been learning how to spread myself between two kids. Yesterday we went shopping for school supplies. So, this wasn’t exactly enriching for Lacey. We tried to use the picture dictionary to explain what we were doing. If we had been shopping for pencils and notebooks, she might have gotten excited. But, seriously, Ziploc bags and wet ones just didn’t do the trick. As a result, anxiety was a little high while we shopped. Now, when we’re out shopping, my left hand has always been reserved for Cassie. So, I naturally extended my right to Lacey. She would have nothing to do with it and lunged for my left hand. I made my way across the parking lot, almost dragging the two girls who were clinging to my left hand. We crossed the parking lot this way not once, but twice. I didn’t say anything the whole time, thinking that one of them would budge. In kids we call this stubbornness. When it comes to adults, I like to think of it as perseverance.

I discovered that Lacey likes music. Every day we’ve been playing a variety of music – gypsy, zydeco, classical, kids, etc. We get out the tambourines and the drum and go crazy. This is a great way for Lacey to communicate and provides great stress relief for me.

A really positive note is that Lacey has become interested in books. I’m hoping that this is because she sees all of us reading so frequently. Cassie has valiantly tried to read a stack of books to Lacey every day while Lacey rolled around on the floor, chattered, did jumping jacks, chased the cat, and any other thing that she could do to avoid books. But, over the past few days, Lacey has become genuinely interested in looking at books. I’m guessing that she has had very limited exposure to print. She has latched onto a couple cardboard books and likes to look at these over and over again. She is also making a huge effort to learn vocabulary from the picture dictionary. We have been going over the vocabulary related to school and home multiple times every day.

Watching TV together

All the adoption literature I read said that for the first few months, the “new mother” should forget about housework. Well, I tried that, but it didn’t go away. I’ve been finding a little time to work in the garden. The tomatoes and peppers are doing nicely, and my raspberries are getting ready to blossom a second time. In what must be a tribute to my Dad, the horseradish that he gave me a couple years ago is strangely spreading all over my yard. Neither the lack of rain nor the lawn mower has harmed it. For some unknown reason, it is simply exploding across the back yard!

Home at Last

We are happy to be home, after a trip of about 30 hours. Our luggage got sidelined in Chicago, but caught up to us about an hour ago. We are busy unpacking and doing laundry. Lacey became an American citizen as soon as she got off the plane in Chicago. We got home around 11 p.m. Last night, we were out on the swing set at midnight. The girls went to sleep around 1 a.m. but were up at 4:30 a.m. It will take us all several days to adjust to the time difference.


Now that we’re home, I can access the blog myself! Thanks for all the warm comments. Thanks also to the people who emailed me about the blog. It’s been fun sharing news this way and we’ll probably update it periodically to share family news. Thanks especially to my sister, Susan, for helping us with the updates.

Cassie and I came up with some “Top 10 Lists” that we have to share.



The Top 10 Things We’ll Miss About China

Our facilitator, Shiyan , and the American families who traveled with us;

The friendly Chinese people;

The cheap and efficient laundry service;

Not having to wash dishes;

Swimming pools right outside our door;

The doorman at the White Swan who held the door with a smile, no matter how many times we entered and exited the building each day;

1001 miscellaneous shops, each one about 12 by 20 feet;

The beautiful parks and landscaping;

The variety of interesting statues; and

Lucy’s Restaurant.





The Top 10 Things We Won’t Miss About China


The smell of China in the morning;

The undersized, extra hard beds;

The pushy salespeople;

Ancient Chinese men wearing Speedos, and men who combat the heat by rolling up their shirts and letting their bellies hang out;

The semi-toxic drinking water;

The endless dining out;

The masses of screaming, sweating, pushing people, especially in elevators;

The endless bus rides;

The babies without diapers; and

Not being able to use ice in our drinks.

The children adopted from Shanghai

American girls

Lacey's first glimps of her bedroom

July 14

July 14

This is our last day in China.  We’re not looking forward to the long day of travel ahead.  But, we are anxious to get home.

Yesterday was the “swearing in” ceremony at the U.S. Consulate.  This was really the culmination of our journey.  And, although we had all been anticipating this event, we really were happy to see it end.  It began with a sweaty bus ride that lasted about an hour.   Then, we had to drag the children up four flights of escalators.  At the top, we went through security, only to discover that we were not allowed to bring cameras into the building.  We had to leave all cameras at the desk.  Once inside, we learned that our “appointment” was just the designated time for all adoptive families whose paperwork was being processed to report.  So, there were approximately 50 families jammed into the room with whining, hungry kids.  One by one, the children’s Chinese names were called while parents struggled to understand the pronunciation of their precious name over the background din.  Then, when the name was finally called, passports and child were presented and one parent was required to sign one document and told to sit down again.  After all the families had been called, a consulate employee spoke to us for awhile about the processing of the paperwork and the number of annual adoptions.  Then, the parents stood, raised their right hands, and took the citizenship oath on behalf of the children.  So, that was it.  Technically, Lacey won’t be a U.S. citizen until she sets foot on U.S. soil.

Lacey continues to adjust to being part of an American family.  She has learned to play Uno.  She also taught me a couple card games that she has played before.  She cheats like crazy and then jumps around waving the victory sign and yelling, “Yeah! Yeah!”  This drives Cassie nuts.  Lacey has also begun refusing to use anything but a Western style toilet.  Chinese toilets are commonly referred to by Americans as “squatty potties.”  Your imagination can supply the details.  In some restaurants and places frequented by tourists, there may be one or more Western toilets.  And, of course, our hotels have “normal” toilets.  Last night we were in a Chinese restaurant.  I took Lacey to use the restroom (out the back door of the restaurant and across the alley.)  She took one look at the toilet and came out waving her hands emphatically saying, “No! No!”  I asked our interpreter to speak to Lacey.  But, there’s no way she will use a “squatty potty” anymore!  

Today we will swim, pack and maybe go to a local market.  The heat is so relentless that we don’t really want to do any major site seeing.  So, soon we will be home and many of you will be able to meet Lacey in person.

July 11, 2010

July 11, 2010

Last night, we had dinner with the other American families at “Lucy’s.”  This was the second night in a row that we had eaten there.  The menu includes both Chinese and American food so many adoptive families like to eat there.  Also, it is only about a 30 second walk from the hotel.  It really is a different universe here.  I don’t remember if I mentioned this before.  But, I feel like I’m living in a colony of expatriates.  Try to picture a bunch of Americans in China, drinking beer and eating fried chicken in a restaurant decorated with posters of “Barbie Mermaid” and “Justin Bieber.” Then, you’ll begin to understand why all this feels so surreal. . 

After dinner, we decided to stroll around Guangzhou for awhile.  There are many shops that cater to adoptive families.  “Cater” probably isn’t the correct word.  They are in business only because of adoptive families.  Shop-owners intercept tourists about a block or so from their stores.  They are very friendly and offer a variety of services.  Almost every single shop does laundry.  They probably all take it to the same place to have it done and their prices are basically the same.  We saw families walking down the street with suitcases.  They were not yet leaving town – they were just dropping off dirty laundry.  Yesterday morning, while I was at the clinic with Lacey, Les and Cassie dropped off our laundry.  Believe me, we had laundry.  Les has been wearing his socks for three days in a row.  Later, Cassie took me aside and said that the place they had dropped off the laundry was also a clothing donation center.  She was very concerned that Les’ Chinese was not very good and that he had accidentally donated all our clothing!  She probably thought this just because of the massive piles of dirty clothing.  I assured her that he had a receipt.

 Shhh....no more whining!!

Anyway, we strolled around the shops, just to avoid being closed in our hotel room.  Most of the shops are named for women.  There is “Miss Linda’s,” “Miss Lulu’s,” “Miss Emma’s,” “Laura’s,” and “Jenny and Amy’s Place.”  You get the picture.  This must have been done to make Americans feel comfortable.  It just makes me feel like I’m in a brothel.  They all advertise, “beautifully designed children’s clothes,” “Unique squeaky shoes,” “gifts and souvenirs,” etc.  There are baby strollers, shoes, clothing, formula, bottles, toys, you name it.  More and more American families are adopting older Chinese children.  I’m sure that the shops will adjust and begin carrying products for older children soon.

 Cassie and some friends

We visited the pool after dinner.  It’s nice to have some down time.  The pool is surrounded by a variety of trees.  They’re beautiful to look at.  But, apparently the planners didn’t realize that the leaves would all fall into the pool.  One hotel employee stands at each end of the pool.  They both hold long-handled nets.  There is a rhythmic “thwack, thwack, thwack,” as they take turns trying to scoop leaves out of the pool.

Today we visited the Guangdong Folk Arts Museum.  It is “Chen’s Ancestral Hall” that was built during the Guangxu Reign of the Qing Dynasty.  In case you think I’m becoming an expert on Chinese history, let me explain that I’m copying from a brochure.  We saw beautiful wood carvings, etchings, pottery, porcelain and embroidery.  The rest of the day we will just relax and continue getting to know Lacey.  She is becoming more assertive each day.  She laughs easily and tries very hard to get Cassie’s attention – all the time.  Cassie is being a good sport and adjusting to having a sibling fairly quickly.  Les made the mistake of introducing Lacey to the TV remote.  Now, she can work the panel with the radio and light switches with her feet and flip through TV channels with her hands.  I’m not kidding.

Tomorrow is our visa appointment at the U.S. consulate.  We pray that there are no errors in our mountain of paperwork.  Yesterday, I had to recopy a 4-page form because the form had been updated. . . 

  One of daddy's little girls

We’re tired of living in a hotel.  Besides having to eat out all the time, the thing that bothers me the most is having to share one toilet among four people.  You can never appreciate this unless you’ve been forced to share a single, low capacity toilet with your spouse for two weeks!