A few weeks ago, our Internet service went out. On the first day, we did not call to report the outage. We told ourselves that it was just a community-wide problem and would be resolved soon. In reality, we were afraid to call customer service. On our second day without service, Les called. He spoke with three different agents and was unable to convince the Comcast representative that we had a genuine problem.
On the third day, we were still without TV, Wi-Fi, and regular telephone service. I was worried that all those 1-800 callers might discover my cell phone. So, I fixed a cup of coffee and called the Comcast help desk.
First, I had to deal with the robo voice that kept asking me what was wrong. When I responded, "NO INTERNET. NO PHONE. NO WI-FI," the system couldn't understand. The recording kept advising me how to recover my email password. After getting disconnected and calling again, I finally got through to an agent.
I first had to verify every detail of my account including: our home phone number; street address; billing address; customer account number; email address; an alternate email address; and the number from which I was calling. When the woman next asked for the number on the back of our modem I told her that she would have to give me a few minutes while I crawled around on the floor to find it. She told me not to worry and asked what the problem was.
Me: We have no TV, no WIFI, and no phone service.
Woman: Are you sure?
Me: Positive.
Woman: Well, let's run a system's check.
Me: I used the app on my phone and ran a system's check before I called. It shows all our systems are "green."
Woman: Well, let's reset your modem.
Me: We called yesterday and had that done three times.
Woman: Are you calling from a cordless phone?
Me: I'm calling from my cell.
Woman: Oh. But, is your home phone cordless?
Me: One of them is.
Woman: Do you have a dial tone?
Me: No. That's how I knew to tell you that we have no phone service.
Woman: Uh huh. So, there's no dial tone on all phones.
Me: That's correct.
Woman: And, may I ask, did you receive your modem through the mail or did a technician install it?
Me: Honestly, we've had it for so many years that I don't remember.
Woman: I see. May I ask how old the modem is?
Me: You have my account information in front of you. Maybe you can find that information.
Woman: All right. Let's reset the box. And, by the way, there's an app that you can download to check the status of your service.
Me: I've done that.
Woman: Are you near the modem?
Me: On my way.
Woman: And, what is the modem doing?
Me: Uh. . . nothing?
Woman: Let's give it one to three minutes. (Pause) Okay, may I ask what's happening now?
Me: Well, the power light is on.
Woman: Okay, let's give it one to three minutes. (Pause) May I ask what's happening now?
Me: Uh, the power light is on?
Woman: Okay, let's give it one to three minutes.
I then began wondering how long I would have to engage in polite silence with this woman. To fill the time, I grabbed a piece of paper and began scribbling all this down.
Woman: May I ask what's happening now?
Me: The power light is on. And, may I ask, are you a real person?
Woman, chuckling: Yes, and may I ask if it's improving?
Me: How would I know?
Woman: Have any other lights come on?
Me: No.
Woman: How about now?
Me: No.
Woman: Our system has diagnosed that nothing is working. We need to set up a service appointment. If this is a Comcast issue the cost will be covered. But, just to let you know, we have a service protection plan. Would you be interested in purchasing it?
Me: No!
Woman: And, what is the best number for the technician to reach you?
Me: It depends on the day. When can the technician come?
Woman: And, what is the best number for the technician to reach you?
Me: It depends on the day. When is the next available appointment?
Woman: Tuesday, between 3:00 and 5:00.
Me: So, we have to wait spend another three days without service?
Woman: And, what's the best number?
Of course, I gave Les' number. I certainly wasn't going to go through this again. I thanked the woman for her help and said goodbye.
Woman: We at Comcast value your business.
Me: Thank you. Goodbye.
Woman: And, we want you to know that you are a valued customer.
Me: Thank you. Goodbye again.
Three days later a technician discovered that our outdoor box had been struck by lightning. This was deemed a Comcast issue and the cost was covered. About a week later, our cable went out again. I let Les call.
