Giving Thanks for Doors

We have been planning the big remodel of our basement for the past couple years.  The girls and I have studied color schemes, shopped bargain basements, and drawn plans.  We settled on a retro theme, with a black and white checkerboard floor.  I salvaged a piano lid that hopefully could become a bar.  We envisioned a soda fountain.  We found a huge chalkboard globe to sit on an end table and I bought a large chalkboard map of the U.S.  Finally, we decided to turn the exterior side of the bathroom door into a chalkboard.  Plans were really shaping up.

I was sure that I would be able to complete most of this during my summer break.  As I began buying boxes to pack up the basement, and visiting flooring shops, I decided that Halloween might be a more realistic target for completion.  Today is Thanksgiving and we are not ready to throw that inaugural party.   Why is it taking so long to get this done?

Back in July, everyone pitched in to pack boxes and carry them upstairs.  Les and I  purchased the tile and hired someone to lay it.  We had a plumber come in and disconnect the sink. Les and Bob cut up the old countertop that had been serving as a makeshift bar.  This was quite a feat as it was caulked to the wall.  Julio painted the walls and ceiling.  Les removed the baseboard and took it to the garage to repaint. 

It was time to begin working on the door.  The existing door was paneled and wouldn't serve as a good surface for a chalkboard.  So,  I bought a new, smooth door.  This was in mid-July and it was warm enough for us to work outdoors.  Les decided to cut the notches for the hinges before we painted.  I'm not sure what went wrong.  But, suddenly Les and Bob were hatching a plan to reinvent the door.  Bob offered a piece of 1/8 inch plywood from his garage and he and Les decided to nail this to the front of the old door.

Cassie took me aside and reminded me that the new door was only 29.99.  Couldn't I please go and get another?  I assured her that Les and Bob had a good plan.  No need to worry.  Bob brought over the plywood and it was cut, glued and tacked to the existing door.  The girls and I enthusiastically sanded and applied three coats of primer.  That plywood was really dry.

Upon inspection, Les decided that the nail holes should have been caulked.  After caulk was applied, the girls and I again sanded and applied more primer.  The chalkboard paint was difficult to apply.  So, this became my solo task.  I told the girls not to worry that the caulking still showed.  The door would hang in a poorly lit corner of the basement.  Nobody would notice.

The weather was getting cooler and the door was moved into the garage to rest on sawhorses.  The old baseboard was placed on top of the door.  At about that point, the contractor began laying the tile.  This took several weekends to complete and we didn't think much about the door.  The floor looked incredible, better than I could ever have imagined.  The next step was to complete the baseboard.  We decided to move the sawhorses inside so that we could work in the evenings.  Sadly, someone had placed the baseboards on top of the door before the paint was dry.  They were stuck fast and the black paint on the door peeled away when we picked up the boards.

Les patiently purchased more chalkboard paint and, while I was driving to and from ballet rehearsals, he and Lacey repainted the door.  Finally, the day arrived to hang the door.  I sent the girls down to help, while I made dinner.  Within a few minutes, the girls were both upstairs again, explaining that now would not be a good time to go downstairs.  It seemed that not only had we painted the wrong side of the door, but the new transom in the bathroom was too high.  The door wouldn't close.

We decided to pay the 29.99 for another door and start over.  The next afternoon, Les went to all major hardware stores in the community.  They were all sold out of smooth doors.  I assured him not to worry.  The basement was far from finished.  We didn't need the bathroom. 

A couple days later, two tiles fell off the shower wall in our master bath.  This couldn't be happening.  I couldn't handle a bathroom renovation while the contents of the basement were in my living and family rooms!  I suggested the basement shower for the interim.  No problem.  Les decided to get out his power saw and cut off the bottom of the door so that it would fit.  I was upstairs grading papers when the fire alarm went off.  The saw blade had gotten stuck in the door and was smoking like crazy.  My siblings and I have experience clearing smoke from a basement.  But, this was something I've never done with my spouse before!

A couple days later, Bob and Les decided to move the hinges to the other side of the door.  Great idea.  The door could be hung, chalkboard side out!



The bathroom door!

Les then decided to wall off part of the basement.  I was skeptical because I was reluctant to add more time.  However, his plan sounded great - a room with double doors that could serve as a storage room for toys.  Les took the week off, and he and Bob started.  They framed the walls on Sunday and planned to put up the dry wall on Monday. 
 
On Monday I got home just in time to hear Les remark that he might be able to find a screwdriver flat enough to slide under the door.  Okay.  I had to go downstairs.  Both the dry wall and the doors were hung.  And, Bob was trapped in the new room.  They had somehow missed the big red and white tag on the door that said to remove the screws before hanging door.  These screws were holding the tops of the doors into the frame and the doors couldn't open.  I knew the guys would figure it out so I went upstairs and left Lacey in charge.  Bob eventually emerged, no worse for the wear, and the next morning he came back to help again.

Doors are kind of a strange topic for Thanksgiving.  But, I realized that I should stop and be grateful for all the time with friends and family that these doors have given us.  If I had paid to have all the work done, or if everything had gone without a hitch, we wouldn't be making all these memories.  Every time that we use these doors, we will chuckle.  And, we will have stories to tell for years.  Stay tuned because tomorrow we start building the bar.

And the doors are open!

A Year Without Crayons

For the past few years I've blogged about the annual adventure we take buying school supplies.  This fall I didn't think that I was going to have anything to write.  Cassie wanted only a black binder and some spirals.  And, when Lacey downloaded her supply list, I was astounded to realize that she didn't need crayons for fifth grade.  I felt saddened and somehow cheated to realize that for the first time in 10 years I wouldn't be out shopping for crayons.

But, it seems that fifth graders have moved on to colored pencils.  So, we had the most boring shopping trip imaginable, shopping only for binders, notebook paper, spirals, composition books and colored pencils.  Regular pencils were also on the list.  But, during my summer house cleaning I had discovered a stockpile of about 300 pencils.

We deposited the supplies in the girls' bedrooms, absent the usual fanfare of, "Daddy, look at my pretty pencil case!" and "Mommy went to three different stores so we could find the cheapest crayons!"

Yes, I was feeling pretty blue.

Then, as I was cleaning house, I made a discovery.  I found a journal that Lacey was keeping.  The fact that she was keeping a journal was remarkable enough because I had been pestering her all summer to do some writing.  But, the contents of the journal were truly thrilling.  Take a peek.

In case you had any trouble with Lacey's handwriting, here's a translation:

"Clothes

tips:
-follow trends
(but only if you actually like them)
-try to dress like girl around you
-splurge on good quality staple items"

Well, my mind was really reeling.  Not only was Lacey writing and using words that I didn't think she understood.  But, she was writing about clothes!!!  I soon realized that these fashion ideas had to have come from the member of the family who can quote Coco Chanel.  Nonetheless, it seemed that Lacey was finally taking an interest in her appearance.

A couple evenings later, Les mentioned that since I had done the school supply shopping, he could help the girls shop for school clothes.   I explained that they both needed sneakers and Lacey could use a new hoodie.  That wasn't really all they needed.  But, I figured those were items that he could handle.  As the girls and I did the dishes,  we could hear Les pecking away at his computer.

"What size jacket does Lacey wear?" he called.

"O. . . M. .. . G. . ." Lacey mouthed at me, a look of panic on her face.

 "Quick," I advised, "Run and see what he's found!  Remember, he's color blind!!"

 I don't know what was funnier - the notion of Les shopping online for the girls' clothing or Lacey's reaction.  But, I did know that life as I knew it would never be the same.  

This year, instead of shopping for crayons we shopped for clothes.  And, what fun we had.  Check out these pictures of our mall action.

 

 

 

 

 

Lacey's 5th Anniversary

Lacey turned 11 on June 24th.  Because we were up in the mountains with no Wifi, I wasn't able to publish a birthday blog for her.  Five years ago today, Lacey became part of our family.  So, I decided to combine her birthday blog with a celebration of her fifth anniversary as a member of our family.

Sometimes, it's hard to believe that five years have passed since we first met Lacey.  But, while it's easy to remember life without Lacey, it's hard to imagine life without her.  Lacey used to frequently refer to Les, Cassie and myself as "you guys."  She would ask a lot of questions about our previous lives such as, "Did you guys ever spend Christmas in Colorado?"  I've noticed she seldom asks those questions now because she has become so much a part of the memories.

To celebrate her five years, I've chosen five words to describe Lacey.  The first is "happy."  Lacey has got to be the happiest kid I know.  She gets up with a smile on her face each day and, regardless of how the day plays out, she continues smiling.  Here are some pictures of Happy Lacey.

Happy

Lacey with a birthday cake.  We were staying in a cabin at Orkney Springs.

Lacey in the car, claiming ownership of Cassie's old phone.

Lacey at violin camp

Lacey at dance class.

We stopped at Starbucks on our way to school.  It was the coldest day of the year.

Resilient

Lacey is so resilient.  No matter what happens, she keeps on trying.  Maybe she just hasn't reached the age of being a "drama queen" yet.  But, I suspect that she won't change.  She approaches each task head on, without considering how difficult it might be.

Lacey's shortcut through the woods didn't work so well.  She ended up in ankle-deep mud.  So, she washed off her shoes and looked for a better shortcut.

Honest

Lacey is very honest and takes things very literally.   I don't know if this is cultural, if it's related to her being a second language learner, or if it's just her personality.  Implied questions can never serve as directives.  I would never say, "Do you think it's time for bed?"  Lacey would always say "no."

Les recently commented that he was going to clean the garage on Saturday.  On Saturday morning I went outside and found that Lacey had emptied most of the garage.  I asked what she was doing and she replied, "Daddy said that he was going to clean the garage today.  I'm helping."  That sure surprised Les.



Here are some other funny and honest "Lacey" quotes:

"I don't understand 99 percent of what Daddy says!"

While watching Cassie listen to the car radio, Lacey said, "I'll never understand the music that Cassie likes."

Last week I took the girls to a movie.  During the saddest part, when all the other kids in the audience were sobbing, Lacey spoke up.  "I think this part is supposed to be emotional," she declared.

During dinner one night Lacey exclaimed, "We won the war!"  Les, Cassie and I exchanged glances, shrugged and continued eating.

One day, as Lacey was wiggling her fingers, she asked, "Who invented hands?  They're so cool!"

Eager

No matter what she is doing, Lacey wants to get done as quickly as possible.  We talk to her a lot about slowing down and enjoying the process of doing something and not just rushing through.  No matter where we are, she has to be the first.  She wants to be the first one in the house, the first one on and then off the escalator, the first one in the car, the first one to the table and the first one to finish eating.

Here is Lacey, eating a snack as she runs down a mountain path with her violin.



Why finish with the music if she can finish first?

Lacey is never afraid to try anything, even if she has little to no idea what she's getting into. 

At the museum, Lacey leapt onto an antique bicycle.

I must ask Lacey to slow down at least a dozen times every day.  I have to constantly remind her to slow down with her school work.  I have wondered if maybe there is some special privilege, such as extra computer time or drawing time, awarded to the students who finish early.  But, according to Lacey, there are no prizes.  She just wants to be done.

In June, Lacey brought home some of her fourth grade workbooks.   One composition book was titled, "Word of the Day."  Lacey explained that every morning the teacher had put a word on the board.  The students were to write a definition and then use the word in a sentence.  The assignment was designed to keep the students busy at the start of the day and wasn't graded.  Now, we are very sensitive to the fact that Lacey is still acquiring English and that she still lacks a lot of relevant background information.  So, we waited until she was in bed to examine this notebook.    I don't know when I've laughed so hard.  This book really captures the essence of Lacey.  It is full of sloppy handwriting, misspellings and incorrect definitions.  My first reaction was to wish that she had tried harder and done a better job.  But, she was allowed to get away with it.  So, why not?  Here are some examples from the notebook.  I know that someday Lacey will look back and understand why this made me laugh so hard.

Word:  ally
Lacey's definition:  fight something
Lacey's sentence:  When my Mom coke she lite me like spoon.  (My translation:  When my Mom cooks she lets me lick the spoon.)  Does anyone see any relationship between Lacey's sentence and the word "ally?"

Word:  aspire
Lacey's definition:  a copen that can be used agin.
Lacey's sentence:  James aspires to become a champion tennis player.  (Good job copying, Lacey.)

Word:  corridor
Lacey's definition:  to do something
Lacey's sentence:  Acid rain corrdes railroad tracks.  (Okay, if you're going to copy, copy something that's correct.)

Word:  hasty
Lacey's definition:  bad desin
Lacey's sentence:  I make a lot a hasty desion.

Word:  majoy
Lacey's definition:  ?
Lacey's sentence:  My majoy is to fockas on my skills.

Word:  bewilder
Lacey's definition: To live in the wilder.
Lacey's sentence:  I am bewilder all the time.

Sisterly

I will let the pictures do the talking here.



Happy Gotcha Day, Lacey!

Happy Mother's Day

A few days ago, Lacey brought me an essay that she wrote at school.  The topic was, "A Special Person, and she wrote about me."  I've read that essay about 50 times already.  I plan to read it again, every time I get frustrated by the pile of shoes left in the hallway, the backpacks that I fall over, and the smelly gym bags that don't get unpacked.  I have re-typed Lacey's essay below.  I am sharing it just as she wrote it. 


"My mom is my special person because she takes care of my and adopted me.  My mom was born on September 22 in Colorado she lived on a farm that had horse, chicken, dogs and cats.

She will help me with my homework and tell if there is problem on my math or school thing.  She will help me with math, reading, science.  I was born in china so that is the reason I need help in reading.

I was adopted and came the USA when I was six.  My mom tried to not me cry.  She is a helpful person and kind she is the kindest mom when she is not mad at you.

When I am in trouble my mom tried to make me stop crying.  She also tried to finger it out.

She is also my only mom in the world.  My mom is the best of all in the world.  She also spend time with me.


                             THE END:)"                                              

Happy 14th Cassie!

Today is Cassie's 14th birthday.  I was reflecting on the past year and trying to decide what I wanted to highlight for her birthday.  I decided that I will always remember this year as "the year of auditions."  The school-year began with the deadline for high school applications looming.  Cassie knew that she wanted to apply to the fine art's program.  I believe that she could have qualified for music, dance, visual arts and writing.  But, the students can only apply in one discipline.  So, although she had spent last summer creating paintings and working on her art portfolio, she decided to apply to the writing program.  That meant evening and weekend writing seminars, poetry writing workshops, and late nights spent writing stories.  In February, she was accepted into the creative writing program.

At the same time, Cassie has decided to intensify her ballet studies.  She recently  auditioned and was accepted into a studio that has a pre-professional program.  

During the past year there were multiple violin auditions.  For the second year, Cassie was selected to perform in the all-county orchestra. In April, she also performed before two distinct panels of judges as a soloist.  Just last week she had a "move up" audition for the county's youth orchestra, to try to move to a more advanced group.

All of this involves a lot of driving and waiting on the part of the parents.  But, it is also very rewarding, especially when Cassie thanks me for helping make her dreams come true.  In celebration of Cassie's birthday, I'm sharing a video that I made with the app "One Second Every Day."  I have been capturing her violin rehearsals for the past several months.  In the video you can see her practicing at home, playing with her instructor, warming up, and playing with her school orchestra.  There's one snippet where she's playing a solo with the orchestra on stage that is a little hard to hear.  The final second shows her warming up at her most recent audition.

 

 

 

Home Alone Revisited

 Last week, the girls and I were on Spring Break.  But, on Monday morning, I had to go back to work.  The girls had one more day off and they were home alone.  As I sat at my desk, I was reflecting on the lovely week that I had spent with the kids and the memories that we had created.  The events that occurred the last time they were home alone never entered my mind.  That was the day the washer overflowed and they tried to use the turkey baster to clean it up.  (http://minihanadoption.blogspot.com/2014/12/home-alone-sequel.html) 

Suddenly, my phone rang.  It was Cassie.  I knew it was her by the wonderful ring tone that she had created last week.  It goes something like this, "Mom, pick up the phone!  Mom, pick up the phone!"    I could hear Lacey yelling in the background and I was getting ready to tell them to call me back when they had stopped arguing.

Cassie  explain that she had just been over to a  neighbor's trying to find someone who was home who might be able to help them decide if they needed to call the fire department.  Maybe being 20 miles from home helped keep me from overreacting because I didn't scream WHAAAAAATT?????

As Lacey yelled that "it" was smoking again, I was finally able to interrupt Cassie.  She explained that water was dripping from the fish tank into an electrical outlet that's in the floor, causing the outlet to "pop, hiss and smoke." 

I immediately knew the source of the problem and figured that I could solve this via long distance.  One of our cats had discovered that the open space at the top of the fish tank was just big enough for his paw.  I had actually witnessed him stick his paw in, grab a fish, and flip it across the room into a pile of Christmas gifts.  Lucky for the fish I was there to grab it and toss it back into the tank.  Since that incident, I had tried covering the open space with packing tape.  But, the cat could still see the fish and kept climbing on top of the tank.  My current solution had been to fool the cat by laying a dish towel over the top of the tank.  I told the girls that the towel had probably gotten wet and was dripping onto the floor.  I didn't think the tank was leaking.      

The girls removed the towel but hollered that the outlet was still smoking and popping.  They claimed the popping could be heard all the way in the basement.  I asked where the outlet cover was.  Of course, they couldn't find the plate.  I suggested they place something else over the plate.  Cassie replied that she didn't want Lacey to get hurt.

I then began to wonder if I needed to be more proactive.  I told the girls to hang up to let me call a non-emergency number for the fire department.  I called and tried to explain that I didn't think I had an emergency but that my kids were home alone and I wondered if they could get some kind of non-emergency help.  I really didn't want a fleet of rescue vehicles descending on the house.  Before I could relay all this information, the friendly guy who answered the phone needed to determine which firehouse was closest to our home.  He couldn't decide and told me to just call 911 and have a fire truck dispatched.

So, I hung up and dialed 911.  I got a recording that stated I had reached the Arlington Fire Department.  Oh, right.  This needed to be a local call.  I hung up and called the girls.  Now, at this point, I had really started to doubt my parenting skills.  Were my kids at risk?  Was I being negligent?  Then, the little light bulb in my head went off.

"Listen," I told Cassie.  "Daddy's new office is only a few miles away.  Call him and see if he can come home.  If he says he can't or you can't reach him or it will take him more than 10 minutes, call 911.  Then, let the cats out and stay outside until Daddy gets home.  Let me know what's going on."

I figured I had added just the right amount of motherly advice.  Then, I sat and waited.  They texted that Les had arrived.  Then, I didn't hear anything.  About 30 minutes later I called Les and got his voicemail.  I called home.  Lacey answered. 
 
"How's everything?"  I asked.

"Fine," she said.

"What did Daddy say?" I prompted.  I was really expecting some kind of explanation.  You know, I thought Les would have said there was no problem or that they shouldn't worry because he had fixed it.

"He said, 'good job girls,'" Lacey answered. 

"Oh, well then," I said, "Yes, good job."

Later, I got the full explanation from Les.  Cassie had told him if he wasn't there in 10 minutes she was calling 911.  So, he hurried.  When he pulled up, he found the cats squished inside a cat carrier, with Lacey seated on top for good measure.  Cassie was practicing dance steps on the lawn.  Les secured the electrical plate with duct tape and all was well.  The girls really did a great job.  And, hopefully all will stay well until the next time the girls are home alone.
 



Parenting

Before Cassie was born, I read volume after volume of modern parenting books. Having been raised in a strong family, I knew that I had a fairly solid feel for what parenting involved.  But, I wanted to be as prepared as possible.  After Cassie was born, I continued to consume parenting literature.  I read about exactly what to expect developmentally and kept track of each milestone that she met in my "mother's journal."  I was prepared for each potential crisis - teething, whooping cough, ear infections, sleeping problems, colic.  I was prepared for every conceivable malady except the one that actually hit - food allergies.  That might have been the point at which I was first tempted to lose faith in all the parenting literature.  But, I read on. 

As Cassie became a toddler, I subscribed to all the best parenting periodicals.  I was going to be prepared to host the best play dates, throw the best birthday parties, and pack the best school lunches.  One evening, when Cassie was 3, we were having dinner with friends who also had a young child. Our friend remarked that if I had read the latest edition of such and such parenting magazine, I would have known that what Les had just said to Cassie was on the "Top 10 List of Things Parents Should Never Say to Children."  I don't really need to write that the evening ended abruptly.  But, that also marked the end of my romance with parenting doctrine.

I've come to realize that parenting is common sense and open mindedness.  As a parent, I've got to be willing to respond to new situations and learn from them.  For example, the other morning a pencil that someone had left in the middle of the family room floor became embedded in the bottom of my foot when I accidentally stepped on it.  I challenge you to find a parenting journal that gives an appropriate response to a situation like that!

Over the past few years, I have limited myself to reading current articles about kids and technology.  These articles tend to emphasize the negative impact of too many cell phone and tablet hours.  I've been learning that, in a family setting, technology can be leveraged for positive outcomes.  Two weeks ago, Cassie was in the all-county orchestra.  On Saturday, the students were bussed from the middle school to the rehearsal site, which was an hour's drive from here.  Five minutes after I returned from dropping off Cassie, I saw the sash from her orchestra uniform on the floor in the front hallway.  Ah, geez, it must have fallen out of her backpack in our rush to catch the 6:45 a.m. bus that didn't arrive until 7:30.  What's a mother to do?  I had visions of Cassie sobbing when she went to change for the concert and realized that a critical piece of her outfit was missing.  I scratched my head and thought about what my mother would have done, absent modern means of communication.  My Mom was such a saint that she probably would have revved up the old station wagon and intercepted the bus before it reached the school.  But, yoga class was calling.  So, I texted Cassie that I had the sash and that we would arrive well in advance of the concert in order to deliver it.  Thank goodness for cell phones.  Mine enabled me to learn that Cassie read the text immediately but waited about 4 hours to respond.

Well, Cassie's concert was stunning.  But, the celebratory dinner  that we had on the way home apparently didn't agree with Lacey.  About 12:10 a.m., my phone started chirping.  Because all my parenting books had taught me to be a light sleeper, I grabbed it before Les could regain consciousness and grumble about me texting with my sisters in the middle of the night.  It was a text from Lacey reading, "I feel like Thuing up."

I texted back, "Thank you, my Brilliant Child, for not suddenly materializing in our room in the middle of the night and scaring the crap out of us!"  Well, not really.  I thought time was of the essence so I actually responded, "Please go to the bathroom."

Was this not a brilliant use of technology on Lacey's part?  Gone are the days when the offspring urps on top of Mom and Dad in the wee hours of the night.  Take that, all you naysayers of technology.

I will confess that prior to adopting Lacey I did read extensively.  This time, I read all the books about adoption.  While much of the literature was useful, a lot of it was outright frightening.  I once again became over prepared, alert for any sign of maladjustment, PTSD, and attachment disorder.  Then, one day I realized that none of the books I've read ever told me to just sit back and enjoy my kids.  Somewhere, amidst all the cajoling and pushing, it's good to just enjoy the moments we have.

Last week, Lacey was struggling to complete spelling homework.  "What's an antonym for library?" she asked.

Before I could grumble about the idiocy of teachers requiring students to write antonyms to words that may not have antonyms, Cassie walked by.  "Apple Store," she yelled, "Apple Store is the antonym for library."

Bravo, Cassie!

After more than four years of prodding, Cassie has finally convinced Lacey to play the violin.  Their conversation went something like this.

"I want to play one that lets me sit," Lacey explained.

"Well, that's everything except the string bass," Cassie responded.

"Then, which one has the least number of strings?" Lacey asked. 

Here's one final anecdote that's sure not to be included in any adoption book.  A couple days ago the girls were chatting over dinner.

"What if I was a twin?" Lacey asked.

"Then my life would be miserable," Cassie answered.

"Well, what if you were a twin?" Lacey continued.

Cassie squinted at Lacey momentarily, trying to determine if she was serious.  "Then, you wouldn't be here!" she finally shot back.