Happy 13th Cassie!

Today Cassie is 13 years old.  Wow!  I have a teenager in my home.  I've had a hard time deciding what to write about her for this special day, mainly because she now insists on reading my blog before I publish it.  Then, I decided that Cassie's life right now is really about finding balance.  She's trying to balance schoolwork with her extracurricular activities.  She's also trying to decide how much time she should spend with her family and how much time with friends. 

Cassie's life is also about me trying to find a balance.  I don't always know when to treat her like a child and when to treat her like a youngish adult.  I don't always know how much freedom to give her.  And, I often don't know how hard to push her.  But,all in all, I think she and I are both handling "13" pretty well.  Here's a little photo walk to document the past year:

Cassie the teenager

Cassie really loves being with family.  Although she experienced a lot of sadness with the loss of two grandparents this year, she has been blessed with the opportunity to spend a lot of time with family in Colorado, Florida and Ohio.  For Thanksgiving, she insisted that we wear Pilgrim hats.  You can see that not everyone was willing.

I love this photo of Cassie.  She gets really self conscious about having her photo taken now.  So, I snapped this one when she wasn't looking.  Afterwards, I realized that she was oblivious to me because she was busy texting. 

Cassie continues to follow her passion - music, dance and art.  She is the concert mistress of the school orchestra and also plays in the county's Youth Orchestra.  She was the only 7th grade violinist at her school to qualify for the All County Orchestra.  She and I sometimes argue about practicing.  But, I'm really proud of her accomplishments. 

Cassie continues to work hard at school.  She won 1st place at her school science fair and went on to win 3rd place at the regional fair.  Last fall, Duke University invited her to participate in their "talent search" by taking the SAT exams early.  She was excited to participate so Les and I decided to let her try.  On test day, Cassie was the only student who wasn't a high school senior.  I was worried about leaving her, then surprised when I watched her stride off confidently with the older students.  I shed a few tears on the way home because she seemed to be growing up so quickly.  Cassie scored well enough to participate in online summer courses at Duke.  However, we decided that none of us are quite ready for that. 

 

 Cassie loves all living things.  She is currently feeding a feral cat twice a day in hopes of eventually taming him.  In this photo, she is shaking snow off tree limbs to keep them from breaking.

Cassie loves her role as big sister.  She helps Lacey lay out her school clothes every evening and is always eager to help Lacey with homework.  She is learning to accept and appreciate the ways in which she and Lacey are different.

Cassie still loves clothes and is happiest at the thrift shop.  In this photo, she is selecting a Christmas dress.  In the bottom photo, she is selecting boots to wear with the dress!

When Cassie was a few months old, a dear friend was visiting.  I asked my friend if the love I was feeling for my newborn child would fade as she got older.  "Oh, no," my friend assured me, "Each day will just get better and better."  You know what?  My friend was right.  Happy Birthday, Cassie!

At a Loss

I haven't blogged in so long that I'm almost at a loss for words.  "At a loss" defines the chaotic state of my life right now.  On Monday, the moving van arrived from Colorado, full of 500 cubic feet of cherished possessions from my parent's home.   In anticipation of this big event, we cleaned house.    The garage is so full of items to be donated that we have to use the front door.  The boxes and furniture from the moving van all landed in the living room.  For the past few evenings, we have been unpacking boxes, sliding boxes out of the way to place furniture, and sliding furniture out of the way to stack boxes.  Clearly, we are at a loss for space.

It's that time of year when we're getting ready for dance recitals, orchestra concerts, final exams and birthdays.  Add unpacking to all this and you can see that I've also been short on time.  I've been sliding a pile of unfolded laundry from one corner of our bedroom to the other for the past week.  On Tuesday, when I got to work I realized that my shirt was on backwards.  As if that wasn't bad enough, three hours passed before I had a chance to go in the bathroom and fix it.  Yesterday afternoon found me cleaning my purse out at the gas station.  My gas tank was almost empty.  So, I had a good chunk of time to work on my purse.  You have to admit, that was a pretty good use of my time.  I haven't had time to do laundry in so long that I actually stopped to buy a new outfit on my way home so that I would have something to wear tomorrow.   I was sitting at a stoplight feeling a little sorry for myself when I happened to glance over at the car next to me.  The female driver was plucking her eyebrows while she waited for the light to change.  Ah yes, things could be worse.

I took a short break to sit down and blog.  I'm still enjoying the therapeutic relief that comes from publicly poking fun at myself! 

Legacy

 Over the past six months, my siblings and I  have been facing the task of sorting through the possessions in our parent's home.  This is a difficult task, especially for my sisters because they are local.   We've asked ourselves and each other a lot of questions as we look through photo albums, rub our hands over the worn spots on furniture, and walk through the remnants of gardens.  Will we be able to honor our parents' wishes regarding the disposition of items?  How much should we keep?  If we choose not to keep something, are we being disrespectful?  If we get rid of an item, will we retain the memories associated with it?  Just how do we preserve our parents' legacies? Today is my Dad's birthday, which has been prompting me to reflect even more on the best way to honor him.

And then came the worm project.  For the upcoming school science fair, Cassie has been raising Red Wiggler worms in the basement.  These worms are raised for their ability to compost and can consume up to their entire body weight in organic compost every day.  Cassie set out to determine which of four different diets would produce the most worms and the best soil quality.  She has been carefully tending the worms since late December, keeping extensive records of the number of worms, soil quality, and the amount and type of food she fed the worms.  Here's a brief excerpt from her research paper:

"My conclusion is that a mixed diet is best to increase the worm population and help keep the soil nutrients.  The best diet for this situation is a mixed diet of vegetables or fruit, together with leaves.  I also concluded that the fruit diet has the greatest impact on waste reduction.   The Red Wigglers that I used for this experiment are used for their ability to compost.  They can consume up to their entire body weight in organic compost every day.  A healthy Red Wiggler population can double in 90 days.  The larger a population, the more the worms can compost and the more waste they can reduce.  My group of fruit-fed worms tripled its population in just 45 days.  I'm glad I chose an experiment that can be applied to the real world.  My conclusion helps because using worms to compost reduces waste.  And, using worms to produce better soil is safer for people and animals than using chemical fertilizers.  The knowledge of how to benefit the earth can help all people be green."

After I read Cassie's paper, my first thought was, "Wow.  My Dad would sure be proud."  And then a flood of memories hit me - my Dad's massive compost piles; the Spring gardening rituals; the worms that we raised in the basement when I was a kid;.  Cassie's work truly manifests my Dad's love of nature.  There will be some tangible memories that we cherish.  But, Cassie's love of nature is a worthy legacy.

Cassie taking soil samples from one of her containers

Cassie counting worms, helped by an enthusiastic Lacey

Night at the Symphony

Proof that we made it and that Les didn't look like a villain.

Proof that I was there. 

Last night, the girls made their debut at the Kennedy Center.  About six weeks ago, we bought tickets to see Josh Bell perform with the National Symphony Orchestra.  Cassie was thrilled because Josh actually owns a violin like the one we recently bought her.  (This is the violin that he uses for giving lessons.  How I acquired this little known fact really merits its own blog.  I will simply say that it was not part of a sales pitch.)

Now, I know my family well and I sensed what it would take to orchestrate a trip to the orchestra.  Therefore, on Monday I began proclaiming that before we went to bed on Thursday night, all outfits would be ready and set out.  I stipulated that tights, footwear and coats were to be included in the line up.

On Thursday, our life spun temporarily out of control.  I had to stay late at work.  This would have been okay except that Les forgot that he was supposed to retrieve Lacey from her after school club so that I could get Cassie across town to an orchestra rehearsal.  We eventually got everything straightened out and neither child was left behind.  (Special comment there for my teaching pals)  But, and you already guessed this, the result was that the kids forgot to get their outfits ready.

Friday afternoon began peacefully enough.  Our plan was to leave at 5:30, stop for pizza, drive to Pentagon City, and grab a cab to D.C.  The kids were enjoying a snack in front of the TV.  Les and I were sitting in the kitchen reflecting on our week.  Then, Les said, "I think we need to move our departure time up by 15 minutes."

"Okay," I called.  "Time to get ready."

The rapid response pleased me.  I decided I'd have time to put on jewelry AND makeup.  I gave the girls a few minutes and then headed upstairs.  As soon as I closed my bedroom door, Cassie began knocking and informing me that she couldn't find her dress.  Together, we tore through her closet several times.  I sent her to the basement to see if it was still hanging in the laundry room.  Meanwhile, Lacey emerged from her room wearing the gorgeous, sleeveless, brown velvet dress.  She really looked great, except that she wasn't wearing the matching velvet cape.  Apparently, the cape was nowhere to be found.  Just then, Cassie returned without the dress.  I sent Cassie to search for Lacey's cape, while I returned to Cassie's closet.

When I paused to check the time, I decided we needed Plan B.  I told Cassie to find another dress and told Lacey to look for a sweater.  I returned to my room and asked Les if he remembered me saying maybe a dozen times this week that we needed to have everything ready on Thursday.  Just then, screams erupted from down the hallway and I headed back out.  I sighed as I glanced down at my outfit.  I was wearing jeans and the blue denim shirt that has "Arlington Public Schools" embroidered on the pocket.    Once when I was wearing this same outfit I had been mistaken for an inmate.  There was absolutely no way I was going to the Kennedy Center dressed like this.

"I can't find Lacey's cape," Cassie informed me.  "She probably hid it so that she wouldn't have to wear it."  I refrained from agreeing although, sadly, this was probably true.

"Wear your fur jacket," I told Lacey.  "You can keep it on in the theater if you are cold."

Cassie hadn't found her dress so I returned to her closet.  "Ah hah!" I proclaimed as I puled a wisp of pink fabric from the depths of her closet.  "Now maybe I can get ready."

I finally made it downstairs to find Lacey pouting.  "Daddy won't let me wear my hoodie," she wailed.

We made it out of the house and a mile down the road to the pizza place.  As we waited for the pizza, I received a work-related phone call that I really had to take.  While I chatted outside, I was interrupted by Cassie.  "Daddy's mad because Lacey was kicking me under the table.  He said that he's going to take us home and you guys will go without us. Oh, and the pizza is here."

I concluded my call, forced a smile on my face and went back inside.  As we ate, I told the girls about the first concert I ever attended.  I was about five, and my Mom took us to see a Suzuki performance.  I continued describing how my Mom had sacrificed to get us tickets to ballets, chamber orchestra concerts, etc.  By the second slice, the girls were grasping the point of my rambling and had settled down.

Les was tired and asked if I would drive.  Please notice that I'm letting that go without additional comment.  As I backed out of the parking space, I noticed that I had forgotten my earrings.  We easily made it to Pentagon City, parked and headed for the Ritz Carlton to catch a taxi.  As Les strode across the parking lot ahead of us, the girls finally noticed how he was dressed.

"Daddy looks weird," said Lacey.  "I've never seen him dressed that way before."

"Yeah," said Cassie.  "He looks like a villain.  If he were carrying a briefcase he might at least pass for a spy."

"It's an overcoat!!" I said.

Lacey was so enthralled with the electronic screen/e pay device in the taxi's backseat that I actually considered a taxi ride as a future family outing.  

"Why don't you look out the window?" I asked her.  "Look at all the beautiful lights of the city.  And, look, over there!  That building that's all lit up is the Kennedy Center!"

"Where's Lincoln?" she asked.

The girls were speechless as we pulled up in front of the Kennedy Center.  They remained speechless as we walked through the great halls, admiring the sights and sounds.  They even remained speechless as we stood in line to use the restroom!

We had orchestra seats, about 10 rows from the stage.  We watched the musicians warm up and waited anxiously for the concert to start.  There were very few children in the audience.  To me, that didn't mean that the event wasn't family friendly.  It just meant that there are probably  very few families who can get it together on a Friday evening. 

I was reluctant to relax, worrying that Lacey might not sit quietly or might snore if she fell asleep.  Finally, the moment arrived.  The lights dimmed and Josh Bell was on stage, playing his Stradivarius violin.  Seeing the look on Cassie's face when he began to play put the whole evening in perspective.  I didn't even care that Lacey fell asleep.

We got home around 11: 30 p.m.  After the kids were in bed I said to Les, "You know.  We really should do this again.  We might get better with practice."